Thursday, August 23, 2007

Days Sixty-Five and Sixty-Six Post Together; 0 Days All Alone

Well, it's here. The last day(s) of this endeavor. It's not what I thought it would be - it's different and, I think, better.

I'll start with the goals:

1. Sidewalk project - completed. It took a little extra time and I am happy with the result. It gave me another dose of confidence and drive to do big physical home projects. Sometimes I am prone to want to do things, but continue to put them off. Now when I find myself saying "I should" then I can look out my front door for inspiration and say "I will now."

2. Play 10 rounds of golf - completed. It came down to the wire, but I did it. Playing this many times bolstered my confidence in my game, and my conviction that I enjoy playing. By continuing to play in spite of my beginning skills, I improved a smidgen. I also am even more committed to trying to improve through practice and playing. It helped me become a more determined beginner.

3. Run 2 miles without stopping. I did it. I can actually jog, which was totally a revelation for me. It caused me to accept my athletic possibilities, and realize that I can push myself. It helped me realize that I don't have to settle for only what I think I can do - I can do what I couldn't have imagined doing, if I just keep working at it.

4. Complete a 30-story book. Technically I have finished it. Currently the book is in very rough form, and not complete, as I decided to have 40 stories in it instead of 30. I have wanted to do this for several years - this project caused me to truly commit to the book. I relish the comfort and satisfaction I have from writing. I also accept that the idea of doing something with my finished work is daunting. Guess we'll have to see where this leads me. I am a writer - now I just have to imagine I will have a reader!

5. Find new avenues instead of eating. I believe I'm on the road on this one. I created a chart that listed alternative activities, but I prefer to ignore the chart (even though it's in the center of my refrigerator). But I am aware of my tendencies, and have become aware of my thoughts when I reach for something to stuff in my mouth. Was this goal achieved? That's hard to say, because this was more of an abstract goal, and difficult to find an objective determination. I will say that this goal will be ongoing forever - but it did change my life as I look at how I eat with different perspectives than I did before.

6. Wear size ##. Yes and No. Depends on the label and manufacturer. Some things fit better, some things are still snug. Some things I slip on in my desired size, others in a size larger make me look like a stuffed pig. I know I will be more satisfied when I can wear smaller clothes. The change I see is the realization that I've got to work toward it if I really want to achieve it. This goal wasn't as imperative as the others, so it sat on the side. Am I disappointed? Not so much - it will happen.

7. Lose 19 pounds. Did not happen. Lost a few pounds, but not nearly what I wanted to. Am I disappointed? Again, not so much. It will happen when I really choose to focus on it. It just didn't happen now. But it will.

8. Run a half-marathon in 2:30. It didn't happen for all the right reasons. I learned my limitations as well as my possibilities. I know I am capable and what I need to do.

So, what's my final evaluation of this project? I'm proud of what I did. It didn't turn out as I expected. I thought by achieving these eight goals, the actual culmination of the goal would be the change in me. Instead, I realize the changes came about because of the work towards the goals. The actual goals were like the medals I receive at the end of a race - just a tangible reminder of what I've accomplished. I'm changed for having experienced these sixty-six days, and I received far more than I could have ever hoped.

So, what's next? The next time I post, I will be 50 years old. Wow. These sixty-six days will be history, but I will continue to be making and writing my new history. Starting on Monday, you can find me at http://luanneatfifty.blogspot.com/.

Thanks for reading - best wishes for your life, whatever it holds for you. I hope your path to your goals was as meaningful as mine.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Day Sixty-Four Stops to Think; 2 Stop to Listen

I can hardly believe it's almost here - the end of this project AND my fiftieth birthday. It has certainly been a ride. As I near the end of this sixty-six day experiment, I have learned a lot. Here are a few things I can tell you tonight:

1. I've learned that I'm an optimist at heart. I've been masquerading as a pessimist in a misguided attempt to cope with life. But I've learned that I am much happier if I emphasize the positive in my life rather than focus solely on the negative.

2. I've learned that I sometimes let too much of life pass by, waiting for something else to happen, or writing off days if things seem awry. These sixty-six days have taught me to stop and focus on each day, especially the good things in each day.

3. I realize that setting goals for a specific time period has a tendency to drive me to action, but also to stress me out. It's a tightrope for me - when faced with a target date, I am compelled "to do" but also tend to obsess. My answer is to set goals but not always a deadline, work steadily, and document my progress (or else I will put the goal off and pretend I am going to do it in "tomorrow fantasy land").

4. I recognize the difference in my goals - these eight varied from a specific task (sidewalk) to the abstract (find new avenues instead of eating recklessly). The goals varied from things that probably could be done in sixty-six days (play ten rounds of golf), to others that realistically should take longer (run a half marathon in 2:30). I learned that I have to really look at each goal, and set parameters that will suit a particular goal both in time and in achievement.

5. I accept that I may not meet a goal in the way I think I should. But through that goal, I may achieve other goals that are more meaningful. While I wanted to run a half marathon in record time, I wouldn't have learned as much about myself had that happened. I thought that each goal was an end unto itself; what I found is that each goal was a door to a whole lot of self-awareness.

6. I believe that my goals are not the sole essence of who I am. I am still working on believing that my goals are not me to those around me. I announced my goals and intentions to anyone who would listen, then worried what those people would think if I didn't make these goals. I still struggle with that, wondering if they are disappointed in me. But it's okay, because it helps me feel human and not some machine that has to keep achieving to be meaningful.

7. By focusing on these goals, I have learned their importance to me, as well as their fears. Maybe it has taken me a while to finish my book because I'm a little afraid of what I will do once I feel it is finished. Maybe losing weight wasn't as important as playing golf. I realize that there is more to my goals than just the end result - there are other elements at play in each one. By really looking at any goal I set, I can understand more about how to reach it, and more about me.

So that's what I've thought about tonight. I still have two more days, but tomorrow will be my last post for this blog, because I will be leaving for the Twin Cities 3-Day. Tomorrow I will share my final thoughts on the eight and where this blog will go next.

It's been a good sixty-four days. I started out wanting to make changes in my life, and I have done that. I just had no idea what those changes would really mean.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Day Sixty-Three Is Good in Many Ways; 3 Waiting for Their Claim to Good

Today I went to the tire place to get my new tire, only to be told they could fix the tire - no charge. Later I apparently drove through some paint on the road, which splashed up on my car but I didn't realize until hours later. Fortunately it was some sort of latex paint, which pretty much washed off with no harm to the car. Guess today was a good car day.

Later in the day I spent some time on the computer, and ended up with three more stories - only three more to go. Guess today was a good writing day.

I found a straw to fit the hole I drilled in my water bottle for the 3-day. I also got the oatmeal raisin cookies that Lynnette and I eat on our training walks. Later Lynnette and I talked 3-day packing tips. Guess today was a good 3-day prep day.

With only three days left, there's a lot to think about. But for now, I think I'll just close and go to bed - that's the best way to end a good day.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Day Sixty-Two Celebrates an Anniversary; 4 Waiting to Celebrate A Birthday

Today was not my day of choice. Why? Because I spent most of the day running around attempting to accomplish two major projects. It was basically an administrative day.

I spent most of the day on the phone with Sprint/Nextel attempting to convince them that they were billing MB for a phone she disconnected two months ago. I ended up talking with four different employees who continued to send me to the next individual, disconnecting me in the process. When I would call back, I would hold for at least thirty minutes listening to music, then tell my phone story again to the new person (who may or may not be familiar with the English language). The good news is that the phone story has come to an end and MB has been freed from her phone bondage.

Today was also an automotive repair day. I went to the Firestone place, then the dealership, then back to the Firestone place. My tire with the screw in it (and only 5000 miles on it) cannot be repaired, and must be replaced. But the tire has to be brought in from another store, so this saga will carry on until tomorrow.

I did get other tasks completed, including procuring a safe deposit box, finishing my 3-Day sash and extra t-shirt, arranging and rearranging hotels for the night before and after the 3-Day, and other various errands. I did not Curve or walk, and consumed entirely too many salt and vinegar potato chips at Molly's.

Steve and I did play my 10th (and final for this project) round of golf. I played better than yesterday, actually hitting a few good shots. It was a good afternoon, especially since the weather was decent. One more goal accomplished.

Today was busy at times, frustrating at times, tiring at times, productive at times, encouraging at times, discouraging at times, and rewarding at times. Just another ordinary day.

August 20 is our anniversary. Steve and I have been married 30 years. Just like today, the past 30 years have been busy, frustrating, tiring, productive, encouraging, discouraging, and rewarding. Through it all, God has blessed me.

I am thankful to know whether it is 30 years, or 66 days, or just 24 hours, God is right beside me.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Day Sixty-One Uses a Calculator; 5 Count on One Hand

Why did Day Sixty-One use a calculator? To count the number of golf swings I made today. Yes, I played a round of golf today, more or less. Steve and I started on one part of the golf course, but found it too busy, so we went back to the clubhouse and started on the other side. I wish that I could say the change in courses affected my golf game, but it didn't. It was abysmal on one side, and transferred to the other. The good news is (a) I lost 3 balls, but found 7, (b) I hit the ball over the grown-over ditch hazard (a first), and (c) I played my ninth round!

Otherwise today was fairly quiet. I got up, went to church, went shopping for some bug spray for the 3-day, bought some material for Maribeth's quilt, and wrote two more stories. Progress continues to happen on these remaining days of the sixty-six.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Day Sixty Waiting for Completion; 6 Hurrying to Join Their Mates

Today Lynnette and I completed our final long training walk - our last 10 miles before the 3-Day. The weather was not unbearably hot, and a breeze blew through every now and then. We believe God gave us the good weather because our attitudes were a bit on the sour side. In other words, we are glad to be done, and are looking forward to our experience next weekend.

After the walk, we joined Sam, Molly, Scout, and Jenny for lunch. Molly is watching all 10 seasons of Friends in a week (part of a bet). I guess that's what 21-year-olds do. Meanwhile, Maribeth is still walking the AT, now with a ferret in tow. I guess that's what 23-year-olds do. I'm thinking being a 50-year-old is looking pretty good.

I spent tonight working on my book. As of this post, I have titles for all the remaining stories - I just have to finish them. I have six days to write, but having the titles (and accompanying ideas) is a huge step forward.

I did eat a bit today. I'm not extremely proud of that, but I'll keep working on it. Fatigue was my excuse today - so I've got to come up with a plan for coping. Hmm - maybe a nap instead of a cupcake?

I'm hoping for decent weather tomorrow so I can get in a round of golf. With only two rounds left, I may have to suck it up and play in the oven I call outside.

The days are slipping by, but I'm still working. That's what 50-year-olds do.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Day Fifty-Nine Endures the Heat; 7 Waiting for Cooler Weather

Today's plan was to do nothing but write. My first order of business was to further refine my 3-Day visor by sewing on parts of a hat Marilyn sent me:
I think it turned out pretty cool. I am sure to be the hit of the walk on August 24!

Once my sewing project was complete, I started writing. I took a short break to run errands and to attend the Cool People Care anniversary party. Today was successful - as of this posting, I have 22 stories written.

On another front, most of today I fantasized about a Big Mac and/or a Quarter Pounder meal, complete with fries. However, I managed to resist. How? By thinking logically and clearly, and not rushing out to purchase the above mentioned food. I forced myself to stop and breathe, knowing those burgers were not in my best interest. I refused to rationalize such a food choice and I didn't go into denial about the whole situation and make a McDonald's run. I did good.

Now it is late, and I must get to bed. The good news is that Lynnette and I have to walk only 10 miles tomorrow, so we get to sleep in until 6:30. One week from today, we will have finished our first 20-mile day. It's hard to believe that I have only seven days left. I am making progress - we'll just see where I end up.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Day Fifty-Eight Says Goodbye to Elvis; 8 Say Thank you, Thank you very much

Today was a busy day. First appointment at 9 am, followed by errands, feeding Missy the Grandcat, picking up Sam and Lynnette at the airport and having lunch with them, a run by Starbucks, a chat with Rebekah, then dinner with Puffy Emily. No walking, no Curves (letting the body rest after yesterday afternoon's activity), no golf, no writing.

So where have my goals gone? One would think at this stage of the game, the eight would be my sole focus. It appears that one would be wrong.

The fact is that for the past several days, I haven't been working on my goals. Today I was busy. Yesterday I was sick. What will I be tomorrow? I don't know - I can just assure myself that the eight aren't missing, nor have I abandoned them.

My goals are still ever present - I have eight days left. One week from tomorrow I will be 50 years old. This will be an interesting week.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Day Fifty-Seven Tosses Its Cookies; Nine Sipping on Ginger Ale

Ah... Best laid plans, and all that. Today started out on a good note. Although I slept in a bit, I got up, dropped off some old towels to the Humane Society, worked out at Curves, and recycled my paper and plastic. I had time to clean myself up and stop by to feed Missy The Grandcat before picking up Steve at the airport. All was going well, until Molly and Scout showed up.

The three of us made a decision to have lunch at our favorite Mexican food restaurant. This is when the day went awry. I have eaten at this particular establishment many times. I have also become deathly gastronomically ill on the same days. Coincidence? I thought perhaps, except there were times when I partook of said food and did not become ill. However, today was not to be one of those days.

After eating and a brief shopping spree at the Dollar Store, I returned home, took a sinus pill (thanks to 103 degree heat), and decided to take a nap. I woke later, feeling like a huge mountain had been placed on my body. This was a much-preferred feeling to the feeling that was about to happen. The next feeling was that of my stomach and all its attached organs deciding to protest my chosen lunch. It became quite a violent protest. I tried all my usual remedies. I ran cold water on my hands and on a washcloth to put on my head and neck. I lay on my bed. I lay on the floor. I prayed - a lot. I changed clothes to the loosest ones I could find. I turned on the shower, got in, then started running a bath. I got out of the bath, dressed, and went to the couch in the den. Finally, I just put my finger down my throat - I figured it really couldn't be any worse. BINGO!!! Without any graphic details, let's just say in thirty minutes, the protest was cancelled, as there was nothing left to protest about.

Needless to say, this took all of my afternoon. Once I was no longer writhing in agony, the most activity I could muster was to get my tonic of choice, ginger ale, and some crackers and lay on the couch to munch and sip. As of now, I am recovered. I have eaten waffles, a banana, and a bowl of Cheerios with no ill effects. I believe I have learned my lesson, and must say adios to former-favorite Mexican place!!

Was this a good day? Yes - I survived. But this is certainly not the way I envisioned spending the last ten days of this project.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Day Fifty-Six Goes Thisaway; 10 Go Thataway

What does today's title mean? It means that I am busy doing things, but nothing to pursue my goals. It means I am getting a lot done, but none of it has to do with the eight. It means time is running out, and I'm beginning to get a little antsy. Either I want it to hurry up and be done, or I am just ignoring the situation.

That being said, I realize I have ten days left. Ten days to do something, to put more goals to bed, to achieve that which I set out to do 56 days ago. I have ten more days to put everything I've got into this. Let's just see what I can do in ten days.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Day Fifty-Five Goes the Speed Limit; 11 Speeding Up

Today started with a list that got longer. Some things got checked off, and the rest will go on tomorrow's list. All in all, it was a pretty productive Monday.

As far as my goals go, there is nothing significant to report. I ate recklessly, but I did Curve and walk. I thought about writing, but didn't take the time to do it. I looked at my golf clubs, but hung shelves instead.

Now it is late at night, and I am ready to sleep. Tomorrow will begin soon enough, and looks like it will be a full day. Today's post is short, but today wasn't a day for words. It was just a day to live and appreciate and experience. It was a good day.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Day Fifty-Four Eats Too Much; 12 Researching Diets

Today turned out to be "Eat A Bunch of Food" day. Molly, Scout, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory and ate. And ate and ate and ate. It was delicious, and I can't say I regret anything I ordered. However, I do question the idea of ordering so much food for one meal. There was only one thing to do after gorging ourselves - that would be to nap.

Unfortunately, I did not get to partake in the napping process, as I had a few tasks to complete. I also wanted to watch Tiger win the PGA Championship , hoping his skills would somehow transcend the television and soak into my being. While I don't think that happened, I did enjoy watching him play.

Now it is the end of the day, and I must say I am fairly satisfied with the way today turned out. I didn't get everything done I wanted to do, but I completed several projects that were meaningful to me. I didn't get a nap, but I should sleep well tonight (provided Shaggy the Cat decides to stay out all night). I didn't make any significant progress towards my goals, but I enjoyed a day free from focusing about them.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I have a lot of tasks planned, both related to my goals and to my life in general. I want to decide which of the eight are going to be life-long pursuits, and spend the remaining twelve days finding ways to incorporate these ideas into my daily life. I am seeing that these sixty-six days have developed many meanings, and it's time I started examining what those meanings are.

Today I did some things I enjoy and wanted to do. What a good way to spend the day.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Day Fifty-Three Catches Up; 13 Still Dilly-Dallying

Today started early. Lynnette and I had planned to start walking at 5:00 a.m., so when I awoke and saw the time was 4:00 a.m., I decided to go ahead, get up, and get ready. An hour later, we headed out. Neither of us really wanted to walk, but wouldn't say so. We just kept walking mile after mile. It was not pretty. At our Circle K stop, Lynnette got chocolate milk, and I got a 32 oz fountain drink. This certainly was not the snack of champions, but it refreshed us enough after nine miles to continue walking the remaining eight. Needless to say, we were thrilled when we finished, and even more thrilled when Molly and Scout brought lunch. The best news is that we've both made our goals, and today was the last long training walk!!

After lunch, the gang left, and I got busy doing all the paperwork tasks that have been piling up. I also got a few sewing projects completed. As of this moment, I am pretty much caught up, which is a good thing, since tomorrow is "Take It Easy Day." I'm still not sure what that means, but I think having no plan IS the plan.

Today was a day of accomplishments. Some were more difficult than others, some had been on the books longer than others, and some were quickly completed and checked off the list. But each one was important, because it had a part in making today the good day that it turned out to be.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Day Fifty-Two Gets The Wrong Order; 14 Still Looking At The Menu

Today started out as an "Oh crap" day. What do I mean? Let me explain:

Oh Crap #1: Fairly soon after I get out of bed, I decided to weigh, and saw that I had GAINED half a pound. Not the best way to start the day. (However, later at noon I weighed again and found that I lost the half-pound. Go figure.)

Oh Crap #2: On my way to take my car in to be serviced, I stopped at the drive-through at Starbucks for a mocha LIGHT and a fat-free muffin. When I pull up to pay, I get my muffin, and a frap that is obviously NOT light, evidenced by the mountain of whipped cream oozing out of the lid. When I mention this to the barrista, she confirms that it is indeed NOT a light, and did I want a light one instead? Since it was rush hour, and there were about a million cars behind me, I decided to take that which I was served and move on. I looked at the bill, and the order person did put in a regular frap. So, here is my dilemma for today: should I have inconvenienced everyone in line and asked for what I ordered, or should I have done as I did and take what was put in the computer? This has happened to me twice at this particular Starbucks. Both times I took the non-light one. I think this is a test, and I'm not sure I'm passing.

Oh Crap #3: After catching a ride with the dealer's courtesy van, I arrived at home. I pulled up the race pictures from Sunday, and saw that I looked like a heifer, a cow, a huge lumbering massive bulk of a person. In other words, I think I looked HUGE (fat, chubby, ginormous)! This was extremely depressing, coming after the morning weigh-in and Starbucks issues.

A few months ago, after three such Oh-Crap moments in such a short period of time and so early in the day, I would have just written off the whole day and gone after a Big Mac. What did I do today? The only thing I could - I just had to laugh. It occurred to me that these were just things that started off my day. I could let them influence the rest of my day and have a bad day, or not. So I laughed and moved on.

Earlier on the ride home from the dealership, I had already decided that today was going to be an "in service day." When I taught, these were the days when the students stayed home, and teachers spent planning, grading, and completing the piles of paperwork so vital in education. Today was going to be that day for me. I didn't walk or Curve; instead I cleaned up my house a bit. It looks better and I feel better. I still have a mountain of paperwork to catch up on, but at least my workplace has a better atmosphere.

Today was a day I could have thrown away before it had barely gotten started. Instead I decided to acknowledge the sour parts but not let them ruin today. In the end, I was very happy with the way the day turned out. Today was a oh-crap day turned good.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Day Fifty-One Forms a Sentence; 15 Searching For Words

I'm not sure what I did today, but I certainly stayed busy. I walked, started and completed a day-long project, ran a few errands, did a bit of shopping, and ate dinner with Sam, Lynnette, and Molly. It's been one of those days that just flew by, and I feel like I just sat on the sidelines, watching it go.

I've already started on my list of things to do tomorrow. Then on Saturday, Lynnette and I have 17 miles to walk, probably starting at 5:00 a.m. With such a challenging Friday and Saturday, I hereby declare Sunday a day-long break day. I'm not sure what that means, but it sure sounds good.

When a day like today rushes past so quickly, I am prone to just let it pass almost unnoticed. But to do so would seemingly render today pointless. I don't believe a day in my life should go by without my determining its value. So what gifts did today give me?

I found out that Pam is really an interesting and funny person. I got to witness Shaggy getting Lynnette's attention with his "paw to the face" routine. I actually started and completed a project in one day, including procurement of needed supplies. I ordered some new shirts from Talbots that were on sale, and got a great deal. I got a new purse (although the jury is still out as to whether it is in style or not). I got a hotel reservation for my preferred choice for the Disney Marathon in January. I ordered an excellent entree for dinner. I tried the new Dippin Dots wanna-be ice cream, and determined it to be adequate.

When I read this list, I can see that today had quite a bit packed in to it. Had I not stopped to think about today, I would have lost sight of its blessings. I'm thankful I paused to consider today - otherwise I might have missed the fact that today was most certainly a good day.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Day Fifty Works Out; 16 Still Stretching

My victory for today is that I did manage to get back to Curves. I was apprehensive, but it actually worked out well. I got there in time for Power Hour, and it helped to work out the residual stiffness from Sunday. Early this morning I also walked two miles, albeit very slowly. Later in the day I accomplished several errands and completed a few tasks. I guess I'm getting back on track.

My days on this project are quickly diminishing. With the days I've had off this week and the disappointment from Sunday, I could easily quit this whole idea. But today I was reading about Paul and his talk about Abraham and faith. Because of their faith, Abraham and Sarah had a child, even though they were WAY too old. Abraham believed God, and God provided. It became clear to me that this sixty-six days is about faith. Faith in myself, and faith in God.

At this point, I could decide to start over, or start a new set of goals, or just abandon the whole project. But if I have the faith to keep going, then I believe everything will work out as it should. So I will continue. With only 16 days remaining, my time is short. But I am going to continue to work towards my goals. I will continue to believe that it will all work out as it should.

In 16 days, I will look back over these sixty-six days and celebrate the changes in my life. I don't know how many of my eight goals will have been met. But I do know that each goal will have caused a change in me. Maybe those changes are the true goals I seek.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Day Forty-Nine Gets Fertilized; 17 Waiting to Grow

High point of today? Getting my "Welcome to AARP card." Apparently they want me so much, that they sent me my card BEFORE I turned 50. The rest of my day certainly was dull compared to that.

I waited all morning for the cable guy to show up and fix the Internet. Since I couldn't leave the house, I decided to fertilize all my outdoor plants. This involved numerous fillings of the watering can, mixing the blue powder, sprinkling, then refilling to sprinkle some more. Tedious. I finished pretty much drenched in fertilizer, but managed to change clothes before Cable Dude arrived. He surfaced at 11:30, and a mere three hours later, he was done. The rest of my day was spent getting MB's May-expired car tags updated, picking up Steve's prescription from Walgreen's, preparing dinner, and clean-up. Certainly nothing to write home (or here) about!

So what did I get from today? Obviously, I needed another recovery day. I had planned to walk and Curve, but my schedule didn't allow that. While I am able to walk upright today, another day off probably was a wiser choice.

I also got my plants fertilized, which was needed. If I had been off running here and there, I would have just ignored an important task. I will enjoy healthier plants in the months to come.

Today was pretty much just mindless - I didn't have to think about my goals, or stew over ones I haven't met or may not meet, or obsess about what I need to do to meet the remaining ones. I'm seven weeks into this project, with just over two weeks left. I'm not stressed - just curious about how the next seventeen days will unfold.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Day Forty-Eight Soaks In The Tub; 18 Running the Water

If you want to see a graphic based on my race yesterday, you can type my name in here. The cartoon girl looks much better than I did yesterday! As for today, I'm not sure there's a muscle NOT weary in my body.

About mid-morning, I soaked in the tub for about half an hour. Afterward I could move much easier. However, it wasn't too long before the aches crept back in. I'm hoping tomorrow I will be back to normal. I chose not to walk or Curve today - I mostly ate and took naps.

Yes, I ate - pizza and ice cream. I figured today was a let-down day. I needed to be down a bit about the race, and eat with abandon. So, I did. It probably wasn't the best move, but I did it anyway. I just needed a day with no real agenda - just to indulge.

Tomorrow I will assess this project and get back on track. It's amazing how this journey has changed. When I started, I saw my goals and just assumed I would work toward them until they were met. I never considered the difference in days - how some would be so productive, some barely productive or not productive at all, and a few that would be counter-productive. I can see now how each day has its place in the picture as a whole.

Today I am tired. My feet hurt from time to time, my muscles don't want to stretch, and I feel like my body is retaining water for fear that it will get dehydrated. I hope with another good night's sleep, I will feel better tomorrow, ready to go after the remaining goals.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Day Forty-Seven Does It In 2:57:51; 19 Training To Go Faster

Okay, so I didn't meet this goal. I gave it my all; but it just wasn't enough today. Am I disappointed? Yes, I wish I could have run faster, longer. But today it just wasn't to be.

How does this leave my in terms of the Sixty-Six Days? This was the first goal that I have not met. It doesn't mean that I failed - I still have a goal of running a half marathon in 2 hours and 30 minutes. It just wasn't this one. (And it won't be the next one - Disneyland - in 4 weeks, the week after I walk 60 miles in 3 days.) But I will do it. I learned today that I need to train harder and differently. So while I didn't make the goal, I am satisfied that I did my best.

Do I feel like God was with me? Definitely, and always. The two previous days were hot and humid. Today was cool and breezy - God provided idyllic weather.

I had prayed about this race and my twisted ankle. The twisted ankle gave me no problems, and I managed to run through the cramp in my side and the hammering pain in my other heel. God was with me every step - but this was a goal he was going to help me on - not do it for me. God helped me continue to run (jog, walk, limp, crawl - whatever) even when I didn't think I had anything left (Miles 9-13). God was with me at every point - but I believe He wanted me to experience this on my own physical terms so I could learn from it.

I believe He knew I needed to learn something more from this other than just the completion of a goal. I needed to learn that every goal I set cannot be set just because I set it. I believe I needed to miss meeting a goal so I could deal with the feelings that come with a disappointment (would everyone who knows about this be disappointed in me - am I a failure - should I even try to run - am I too old - you get the picture). I needed to learn that this is a goal that is going to take a lot more work than I thought.

So, what becomes of this goal? It becomes "In Progress." It will be completed - I'm just not sure when or where. I know how I need to train, and what I need to do.

Today was a hard day. I am sore and tired, and my heel feels like someone is hammering on it. But I enjoyed spending the day with Steve, and I hobbled to parts of New York City that we normally don't frequent (Seaport Village, Battery Park). I am satisfied with my efforts, realizing that in this case, they weren't quite enough. And even though the day didn't turn out as I had hoped, it still was a good day.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Day Forty-Six Goes Uptown on the Number 1 Train; 20 Waiting on the Platform

Day 2 in New York - we slept in, which was nice. We got up and made it to Chinatown, where we got a new things. After lunch in Greenwich Village, we made it back to the hotel in time for a nap. We had dinner at B.B. Kings in Times Square (part of our hotel package), walked around a bit, and are back. Tomorrow starts early, as we have to be in the lobby at 5 am to catch the bus to the race start.

Am I a little stressed? Yes. Although I purchased an ankle support, I am still a little wary of the ankle. Two days of walking around in the heat aren't exactly refreshing. A week ago, I had walked 18 miles, to be followed by 13 the next day. Am I physically ready? Who knows. Am I emotionally and mentally ready? I rarely am.

So where does this leave me? All that I am sure of is this: I know God will be running this race with me. I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I know if I truly give this race to God, He will bless it, and the outcome will ultimately be what it should be. Therefore, this is my race plan: to do the best I can, run the race, and leave it to God.

See you tomorrow!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Day Forty-Five Makes It To New York; 21 Waiting in Nashville

I've made it to NYC. We left this morning at 7:45. The flight was uneventful (praise God), except that we flew first-class on American (thanks to some points thing of Steve's). It was nice - I got a muffin on a tray with real glass dishes. As we were flying in, our view of the city was great - you can't beat seeing Manhattan from the sky. I love New York!

After two cab rides (the first driver basically told us to get out and walk the remaining blocks to the hotel), we stowed out bags, took the subway uptown to the race expo, then did a little shopping. Unfortunately on the way back, I stepped in a hole in the sidewalk, moderately twisting my ankle. It's no threat to Sunday's race - I just have to watch it tomorrow and take it easy.

As of now, I'm tired from the probable four miles we walked today in midtown in the heat. I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep without Shaggy's interference.

I am in New York City this weekend for an attempt on one of my eight goals I hope to accomplish in sixty-six days. These sixty-six days are about making changes in my life, and wondering if those changes will have an impact on those around me. This morning in his blog, Sam wrote about the young (and slightly older) people he knows who are making a difference in this world. Clearly I am not doing the things that the people Sam writes about are doing. But his blog has caused me to think.

Sam writes:

Such a realization makes me want to work harder than ever for the next four years, to make sure that when I hit the three-decade mark, I've got something to show for it.

But, I realize that I already do. And so do many others. In fact, such a sense of meaning is something that drives young people today to do something - anything - to make their life one worth living. And while lots of commercials, TV shows, and news reports will try to convince you that twenty-somethings are finding this meaning in wild parties and random hookups, I've got news for you: they're finding meaning in making an impact.

I can't help but notice that in three weeks, I will hit the five-decade mark. Will I have something to show for it? That answer will only come from me - I have to decide what I want my life to represent. Am I satisfied with the small things that I do to make a difference, or should I be compelled to attempt greater things, dream more magnificent dreams, and and find ways to make a signifcant impact that will affect a lot of people?

The fact is that I don't know whose life I may impacted - for the better or the worse. As a teacher, I know I did both. But I do know my life seems to be about doing the small things - seemingly one person at a time. For me, that is my mark. While I am in awe of the young people in his post, I know their missions are not mine. We all have our callings - if we would just truly find and follow them.

He also writes:
And what I see each time I meet these revolutionaries is a commitment, a passion, and a dream. Regardless of their age, these folks show that anything is possible.

I ask myself if I have a passion and a dream - do I believe anything is possible? Could I ever be considered a revolutionary? I believe I have dreams, and am learning to go about them with a passion. But a revolutionary? Maybe so, because the thing in which I am making the greatest change these days is within myself.

Sam ends with:

But I've seen the revolution. And while we quickly think it looks like big checks and Bono, it looks like a young, concerned and caring face.
Have I seen revolution? Does it look like 50? Yes, on both accounts. I am seeing change based on the goals I have reached, and those that seem to be within my grasp. I am seeing revolution as my thoughts are broadened and my confidence is strengthened. I am seeing changes within my spirit and my soul, which will forever change who I am. Maybe for me, that will be the greatest revolution I will experience, because this revolution will forever impact my future and all the unknowns that exist there.

Sam is part of a generation that is bound and determined to change this world for the better. So am I - you just may never know about it. But that's okay, because for me and Sam and all those he writes about, in the end it's not who knows, but whose life was changed for the better that counts.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Day Forty-Four Faces Forward; 22 Turning Towards Targets

Today I got busy. I completed all 17 tasks on my list. I walked, I Power-Houred at Curves, I voted, I cleaned the house a bit, I cooked poppy-seed bread and mailed it to Maribeth, I talked with Rebekah, I did the laundry, I made a Target run, and I still managed to pack a suitcase for tomorrow. It was very rewarding to be busy and accomplish things.

Keeping busy helped me not think about this big weekend coming up. On Sunday, Steve and I will run the NYC Half Marathon. I am hoping to meet my goal of 2 hours and 30-something minutes. The weather is going to be very warm during the race, but I am still going to push myself. I am a bit apprehensive, but also excited, because I really want to accomplish this.

Today I got many things done. But the best part of today was that I learned something about myself. I learned the importance of my taking a break from this sometimes frenetic pace I set for myself, and truly concentrate on relaxing physically, mentally, and emotionally. I learned how to really let my worries and concerns go, and listen to God speak. I believe God is with me in every step of this project. Today I learned to allow God to refill and refuel me.

There's a lot to do in the next few weeks, but I'm ready. I'm ready because I spent time with my Creator. Today was a great day.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Day Forty-Three Itches; 23 Waiting to Scratch

August 1. When I was little, this was my favorite day of the year, because it was the beginning of my birthday month. I could count down the days until my birthday. I think I got confused and thought today was my birthday, judging by the ice cream I consumed tonight!!

Today was not a good food day. I was fine until about 3:00 this afternoon, when I decided I was hungry. I had been given a garden-fresh tomato, and I had some chicken, so I decided to have a delicious sandwich. When there was half a tomato and some chicken leftover, I decided to have another!! Yes, they were absolutely wonderful. Yes, I feel bad about eating two sandwiches. Yes, I thought eating the ice cream was a logical next step. I was misinformed. Oh well, looks like I'll be attending Power Hour tomorrow!!

I did work out during the Power Hour at Curves today, and later walked two miles. This Sunday is the NYC Half Marathon. I could attempt to rationalize the excess in food consumption. But the fact is that I ate too much today. I know I should have just left the house and gotten away from the food, but I didn't. I chose the wrong action. Realizing my error in judgement and the resulting poor choice is a small step in the right direction - hopefully next time I will act instead of eat.

Otherwise today was a fairly routine day - I accomplished several things (including making my daily list) but still have several things that didn't get done.

Tomorrow is a new day, full of new efforts, new struggles, new accomplishments, and new focus. Maybe that's the best part of today - to make mistakes, realize how to avoid the same mistakes, and to get back on track, realizing I still have a ways to go.