Saturday, June 30, 2007

Day Eleven is Cooked, 55 Still Being Prepared

After being so productive yesterday, and with today being Saturday, one would think I deserve a day off! But if I really want to change my life, I need to keep my goals in focus every day.

I walked early this morning, thanks to the Shaggy the Cat alarm. My intent was to walk 14 miles; my actual mileage was 8. I justified the mileage by telling myself that tomorrow, July 1, I am going to have to step up my pace. Unfortunately, today was a day I justified a lot to myself.

I had lunch with Emily at the Puffy Muffin. I had the chicken salad, which was yummy. It was good to be with Emily again. She makes me laugh, and her roommate, Ginger, was super friendly, making sure my hands were clean by licking them. I thanked Ginger by scratching her belly.

My downfall came back at home after lunch. Despite having an excellent idea for dealing with my food issues, I completely ignored it. I was getting sleepy from the early morning, so rather than take a nap, I thought I would have a few Triscuits. Did I really want them? No. Did I eat them? Yes. A Lot of them? Yes. I was reading at the time, with the open box at my disposal. I told myself it was a healthy snack.

This would be a sad story already, but it gets worse. I finally decided to close the box, when evil chocolate started calling to me. I checked the candy box, found a snack size bag of Hershey Kisses, grabbed a spoonful of peanut butter, and ate them all. I couldn't even justify this, which made me very sad, so I had an orange sherbet push-up. I'm not sure what made me more angry - the stuff I ate or the fact that I had a plan and completely disregarded it. Needless to say, the sugar rush promptly put me to sleep.

When I woke up, I was still miffed at myself, and resolved to make out my list of alternative activities to do instead of grabbing a snack. As of this writing, I have a list of the reasons I reach for food. Now all I have to do is make lists of alternative activities.

I did put in place the twenty bricks from yesterday and went to Home Depot and got twenty more bricks. I would have placed them, except now I have the dilemma of deciding what to do with the old bricks I removed from the sidewalk. I have an offer of help on Tuesday, so I'm hoping to have my first goal completed by Wednesday.

The only other let-down to my day was Starbucks, which apparently is out to thwart my plans. Yesterday Molly ordered a Orange Mocha Frappachino Light for me, and today Steve ordered the same, yet they were both given an Orange Frap Regular. Since they were both brought to me, there was no returning for a replacement. Did I drink them anyhow? Yes. Do I still have food issues? Yes. Clearly I have a goal that needs serious work!

So, what kind of day was today? Today was a day about friends and food. Sometimes they go together.

Emily is an old friend. I enjoy her company again, after losing contact for a few years. Emily is a kind, funny friend who is fun to be with. She also once called me her "adventuresome" friend, which makes me happy.

Kat is a new friend who responded to my blog yesterday. I really don't know her at all; but I told her that cyberspace has made my world larger and smaller at the same time. Smaller for bringing people into my existence from all over the world and larger because those very people expand my knowledge, my thoughts and my horizons. It's a real blessing to be able to meet and get to know people through this medium.

Food is not my friend. I clearly have to establish some boundaries. I realize I can no longer ignore this issue because of the physical and emotional effects it has on me.

Today was about friendship - who is a friend and what isn't. I realize I should reach out to real things when I am bored or sad or mad or glad. Friends don't make you feel guilty after being with them. Friends not only make you feel better, they make your life better.

It's amazing how I learn about something through a totally unrelated incident. Today I spent time with friends, and through them I progressed in my goal to conquer my food issues. God always has a remarkable way of teaching me - all I need to do is listen.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Day Ten Checking Out, 56 Still Shopping

What a difference in days. Yesterday almost slipped by unnoticed, and today was filled to the brim with forward motion. I can't help but get excited wondering what tomorrow will bring. It's the variety of these days that motivates me to look forward to the next day.

Today started early. Since this morning was overcast, and the humidity was tolerable, I decided it would be a good morning to work on running the two miles. Of course, the first tenth of a mile, my thighs are waking up and screaming, "What the crap is this?" I ignored them and kept jogging. Today was a victory - one and a half miles!! It's wonderful to believe a goal is in sight.

After sopping the sweat from my face, I put on a dry shirt and shorts and headed for Curves. I got there just in time for POWER HOUR!! Lucky me. Power hour consists of the tiny Curves leader directing us in cardio maneuvers on the recovery stations, which become cardiac stations for some of us. But, I persevered, and hopefully sweated off another ounce or two.

Since I was already grimy, I decided this would be the perfect opportunity for a trip to Home Depot to get - yes, you guessed it - the stones for the sidewalk project!! I only bought 20, which covered about one third of the space I'm trying to cover. I didn't get much further than placing the stones on their intended place on the sidewalk (there will be digging involved for placement), but I started the sidewalk project!! It took ten days, but now all goals have been started.

By this time it was time for lunch, then time to clean myself up before I met with Rebekah. During our talk, she gave me a great idea for the food issue. The idea is to think of all the wrong reasons/situations that I choose food, and list alternative activities. I will keep this in the kitchen to prompt me when I get the eating impulse.

After Rebekah, I picked up Molly for a Target trip. While in the store, we got a call from Maribeth. It was a treat having both daughters theoretically together at the same time.

After dropping Molly off, I joined Steve at the golf course for nine holes. The big news there that I FINALLY hit my tee shot over the ditch on the fourth hole. Yes, technically it was my second ball off the tee, and yes, it did go into the trees, but it went over that blasted ditch, a desire since the first time I played Legends.

So, if you're keeping score, I worked on seven out of eight goals today. Quite a boost from yesterday's efforts.

Today was a productive day, with progress made on many goals. But it was also a day to think about what my life is really like. I am never sure of what kind of day it will be. I may plan to do a lot, but very little gets accomplished. Or I may plan to do nothing, and things keep happening right and left. Or everything I plan to do gets done. That's the great thing about life - it's not always predictable. I'm blessed because there's enough variety in my days to make me appreciate each day as it comes. Tomorrow things will be different, but today is, as was yesterday, and as will all the days to come, a day to celebrate.

Today I celebrate because:

I enjoyed playing golf, playing golf with Steve, and hitting the ball over the ditch.

I shopped with Molly, got a call from Maribeth, and had a gabfest in the middle of Target.

I ran one and a half miles.

I talked to Rebekah, who helps me see things so clearly and had such a great idea.

I started my last untouched goal.

Days like today fill me with enthusiasm to pursue my goals. Days like yesterday give me a chance to take a break from my goals. Both kinds of days are needed to accomplish my goals.

It's good to have these eight goals, and to appreciate how diverse days contribute to the realization of these goals. But the greatest reward of these ten days has been the opportunity to celebrate each day for that day alone. Today has been a great day.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Day Nine Opening, 57 Still in Rehearsals

Today was one of those days that just sort of slipped by. I accomplished several small bothersome tasks; it just seems each took up time, and now the day has come to an end.

I did get to Curves, and even attempted some modified crunches while waiting for the dermatologist, so technically I worked on a couple of goals. Lynnette and I walked a mile this afternoon, but it started raining, and we bailed. We are dedicated - up to a point.

If I look at the tasks I completed and those still on my to-do list, I have to stop and consider if my eight-goal enthusiasm has taken a hit. It hasn't. Some days there are just many other things that need doing. While I would have liked to started the sidewalk project, or written a couple of stories, or played nine holes of golf, I am content in knowing that I got the dish garden repotted, mailed Maribeth another package, and cleaned up the house a bit.

What did today give me? I feel good about what I did do, not guilty about what I didn't do. It's important for me to focus on all things accomplished for today and not let those "shoulda, coulda, woulda" things steal this day's happiness. If I decide that the worth of any given day is based solely on whether or not I complete a restricted set of goals, then I rob my self of the surprises of the day. Sometimes it's the surprises that are the best part of that day.

I have a set of eight specific goals that I want to accomplish by August 24. I want to work hard towards achieving these goals. I just have to accept the fact that there may be days where other things take precedence, and that's okay.

Today was just an ordinary day - nothing spectacular happened. I took care of business that moved my life along. It was just an ordinary day, and it was good.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Day Eight Right, 58 Left

What an enlightening day.

I started the morning with a nap, as Shaggy the Cat woke me up before dawn with a discussion (meowing) as to whether he should go outside or stay inside. Too groggy to go for 8 miles, I decided Wednesday would be the 2-mile run day. I ran more today than my previous attempt - maybe a mile and one fourth. I got back to the house and attended to some paperwork, cleaned myself up, and made it to my noon appointment.

After a sensible grilled chicken wrap at Otter's, I stopped by Costco to get water (but sampled no food), and REI to exchange Maribeth's split pants for a new pair (and also got a few surprises to send her). I returned home in time to run errands and complete more mundane tasks. Steve came home and we had dinner.

Pretty much a slow day in terms of pursuing my eight goals. However, as I said, it was an enlightening day. Here's why:

In an earlier post, I said that God is in charge of the small things as well as the big things. Today was one of those days I learned that again. Here's the story:

After my cruise and a week of jet lag, I decided that I wanted to schedule a time with Rebekah. So, on Monday, June 4, I gave her a call. Her answering machine came on, and I left a message. A day or so later, I had not heard from her. I thought this was odd, since she is always so prompt in returning my calls. The next Monday rolled around, and still no reply. I figured that I must have messed up my answering machine response. I knew that I had forgotten to leave my phone number, but I hadn't changed it from the one she had. Another week rolled around, and still no call back.

Two weeks had passed, and I started to consider reasons why she hadn't called. But before I turned my theories into full blown stories, I decided to try again. I emailed (in case her phone line had been eaten by rats) her on Monday, June 18. A day later, still no response. This was really getting weird. By the end of the week, I had developed every story from she's dead, or in a coma, or in the South of France with the mailman, or just really pissed off at me for some unknown reason.

So, God said to me, "Why don't you just give that over to me?" I know when I do that, He will take care of it. I also know that in giving something over to Him, I accept that His outcome will be THE outcome. While it may not be my desired outcome, it will be the best outcome. So, I gave Rebekah over to God.

For the next day or so, I kept taking the situation back, by worrying why Rebekah hadn't responded, and planning my next course of action (two weeks after the email I was either going with the pony express or a singing telegram). Every time I would wrestle with the issue, I could hear God saying, "I thought you gave this to me. Do you trust me?" Of course, I did, and would give it back to Him and pray for Rebekah's safety. Finally, whenever I started to think about it, I just started chanting to myself, "Let it go, let it go, let it go" and pray again for her well-being.

A few more days (and a lot of chanting) passed, and here we are today. I was brushing my hair, and I got this impression to call Rebekah. Of course, I got antsy, asking, "Is this you God, or is it me?" I prayed, and I heard again, "Call Rebekah." So, I did, wondering what I am going to do if I get another recording. I didn't - I got the real deal. As it turns out, she got neither the message nor the email. We're back on track, and I will see her soon.

What does all this mean for today? For one, there is more to my life than these goals. I am pursuing these goals, and I believe they are goals that God wants me to achieve. But if I spend every moment of every day in pursuit of these goals, I will miss everything else that is going on.

Secondly, the one thing I am certain of is that God is in control of my life. Why didn't Rebekah get the messages? Because there were things I needed to do before I got in touch with her. God knew that, and looking back over the three and a half weeks, I can see that.

These eight goals are important to me. But I have to be sure that I am following God's plan, and not just my own. I believe my success will be in direct proportion to the dependence I put on God. Just as yesterday I listed some of the people that are part of my life, today I realize that God has to be the biggest part of my life.

I started this project with the idea that these eight goals would change my life. The enlightening part is that I'm just beginning to see the possibilities of what these changes can be.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Day Seven in Print; 59 in Planning

What a difference a decent night's sleep makes! I got up this morning, feeling invigorated. After making sure last night's cake was ready to go to work with Steve, I headed out for my 8-mile walk. It went well, although I really have to start stepping up my pace in order to get to that 2 and 30 minute half marathon. After the walk, I went to Curves, trying to work down a clothes size. After lunch, I started on a new goal - GOLF!! I hit some balls on the practice range, then joined Steve for nine holes. My score isn't worth mentioning - let's just say I hit three over par (on every hole, that is). I'm on my way to ten rounds of golf!!

While on the 5th hole, Maribeth called from somewhere in Maine. She's still having a great time, even with split pants!

On the way home from the golf course, Steve had to stop by his office. He called me to tell me that the cake had earned $200 for our walk!

My eating habits weren't too bad, although they weren't too good, either. I had potato salad for lunch and dinner, but that finished it off. I also had last night's planned veggie tray and accompanying dip. The veggies - healthy; the dip - probably not. On the way to get a splitter for the computer, I stopped by McDonald's for a chocolate dipped ice cream cone. I know - it was evil, but it certainly was yummy!

As I sit here thinking about Day Seven, I realize I've been at this for a week. Each day has had it's own accomplishments and viewpoints. Seeing 59 days left feels different than seeing days in the 60s. I suddenly feel a sense of urgency. But I know I have time; I just need to make sure I use every day as best I can.

I started work on a new goal today. I have only one goal left to start - the sidewalk project. But that will probably be the one most quickly finished. My other goals are being worked on - they are just going to take time and effort.

Today was a busy day. I managed to accomplish several things, but they took cooperation from other people. Today I am thankful for these people:

PSI people who gave ate a piece of cake and donated money for an important cause.

Susan, who took charge of the cake and the donations, and gave another donation in addition to her earlier one. She is truly a kind-hearted soul.

Steve, who is a very good golfer, yet plays with me and refrains from hiding my golf clubs before we play again.

Part of achieving a goal is to realize a personal goal often requires the assistance of others. While I work to achieve my own goals, I never want to overlook the contributions of others who help me along the way. God has put people in my path to enrich my life and make it better. Without them, not only would I have difficulty in reaching my goal, but the victory would not be as sweet.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Day Six At Bat, 60 On Deck

Today started late - I guess to make up from the weekend. I slept in a little later, and had many things to do, as we were expecting dinner guests. However, instead of getting going, I procrastinated, and didn't begin my walk until 8. I did walk 8 miles, but the late start meant warmer walking weather, and a much later morning. By the time I had returned home, I was hot and weary, so I procrastinated some more, ate a mediocre lunch (although point-wise reasonable), took a nap, procrastinated even more, then planned the remainder of my day.

Time was getting short, since by now it was 1:00 pm, and I still needed to clean myself and the house up, go to the grocery store, and prepare dinner. I cleaned up, went to the grocery store, prepared potato salad, and baked a cake. A quick glance at the clock told me it was 4:00, and we were planning to eat around 6:00. Fifteen minutes later, Steve called to say the dinner guests had to cancel. This wasn't devastating news, as nothing other than the cake and potato salad had been prepared. I managed to put off eating, feeling the frustration coming from anticipation and preparation with no payoff.

Sam and Lynnette came over for dinner and we cooked out. I ate my portion, along with our absent guests' portions of the potato salad. Clearly there needs to be more development of the "eating for the wrong reasons" goal!

After dinner, we watched a little TV, and are planning to head off to bed for an early night. I hoping that a good night's sleep will result in a much more productive day tomorrow.

What gifts did today give me?

Real life. Every day cannot be full of intended accomplishments. However, it can be full of surprise accomplishments. I expected guests, and made a cake. The guests cancelled, leaving me with a delicious chocolate cake screaming, "EAT ME NOW." I could have eaten the whole thing in frustration, but instead, Steve is going to take it to his office tomorrow with the intention of bribing some donations to our 3-Day walk.

Realistic goals. For 5 days, I have been sailing along, thinking that every day I would be getting closer and closer to my goals. While that in many ways is true, today showed me that there will be days to keep me grounded to, and focused on, my goals - hence the potato salad incident.

Recognizable Reality. If I am going to achieve my goals, I have to see my life as it really is. I can't just see the parts that are pleasing; I have to see where I might slip up and need to focus more intently. I have to really see my life if I want to change it. I can't and I won't ignore the parts that make me uncomfortable.

Today was a reality check. Am I serious about these goals? Am I going to pursue these goals? Am I going to keep working even when I slip? Am I willing to examine my life in its totality? The answers are all yes - today gave me the chance to affirm my mission.

Every day has a gift, if we look close enough. If we find that day's gift, it's a good day. Today, I found mine - did you?

Day Five Is Born - 61 in Gestation

Today was one of those days that could have easily been a wash. It was a day of good intentions and dispiriting results. In all actuality, it was really just a regular day.

Today started entirely too early, when Shaggy the Cat decided he wanted out. Too ignorant to learn how to use the cat escape, he has instead developed his own escape method. When I am sleeping, and he wants me to let him out, he extends his claws from his front paw, and uses it to caress my cheek. So, at 5 am this morning, I got up to let his bony feline butt out.

After a nap on the couch, I looked out my window around 7:00 am and saw Lynnette's car. She had decided to do 8 miles today. I was inspired, but not willing, to put on my shoes and run after her. Part of me wanted to feel guilty since I have these eight goals, but I made the decision not to walk today.

Around 10:30, Molly, Lynnette, Sam, and I met at J Alexander's for brunch, which was not yet open. We opted for O'Charley's. There I had the omelet supreme, which I devoured, since I had skipped breakfast in preparation for brunch. Afterwards, we all shopped around Target.

What had begun as an early but promising morning, quickly turned into an afternoon of errors.

First I took my husband Steve's car to get a thorough cleaning. The vacuum guys had not done their job, and the car had to be taken through the vacuum department a second time.

My next stop was to Lowe's to return some items. Sunday afternoon must be the time for returns, because I was fourth in line behind two men with angry faces and a basket load of hardware. I decided that a $1.72 refund was not worth the wait.

I then proceeded to Walgreen's to pick up Steve's prescription, only to be told that there was no prescription, and if there were, I must have waited longer than a week to pick it up and it had probably been returned to the stock, but she really didn't know, because they didn't have any records. No amount of explaining on my part and questioning the clerk's computer skills resulted in a prescription.

I returned home, only to have my stomach start churning. From what, I don't know, but things started to feel ugly. I assembled my usual remedy of ginger ale and toast, and slowly started to return to normal. After a nap, I felt better and had a little dinner.

By this time it was time to pick up Steve from the airport. During the ride home, we had a spirited discussion about the Walgreen's debacle. Since I was tired, I was not a happy participant.

Why do I bring all this up? Because this is real life. This is not high drama, not huge disappointments or debacles, but the little things in life that can sway you into thinking that life sucks. None of these instances were life threatening or life altering disasters, but each one had the potential to chip away at my frame of mind. If I were to follow through with a defeated attitude, I would have become discouraged and depressed, and my goals would be in jeopardy.

So, what remained of today? Today I realized one way in which I know I have changed. I formerly thought of myself as a pessimist. I thought if I concentrated on the bad things that could happen, then I would be prepared for those bad things, and pleasantly surprised if good things happened. But I've realized that I no longer prefer to live that way. Sure, bad things happen. But I think my ability to enjoy this life depends on how I handle the difficulties that come up in life,whether the problems are large or small. I was not going to let these little annoyances that came up today dictate a ruin to my day.

Day Five didn't lend itself to any great strides toward achieving my goals. Day Five had the potential for picking at my confidence, but I didn't give in, and I strengthened my resolve to find the blessings in my daily life. Today I practiced letting those annoyances go and staying focused on the things that matter. Today the things that truly mattered were:

The car wash man who noticed the faulty vacuuming job. He's an hourly worker who wanted to do his job right today. I'm thankful that there are people out there who want to do a good job, and not just get by.

My family who gets together for brunch on Sundays, just to spend time together.

Ginger ale, for its ability to make my stomach feel better.

Today was just a regular day, in which things happened. It was my choice, not the things that happened, to decide what kind of day today was. At the end of today, I see the truly worthwhile parts, and I decide today was indeed a good day.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Day Four in Front, 62 to Follow

Tonight I am, as we say in the South, whupped. Today started early, 5:00 am in fact, when I rolled out of bed to eat a bananas and cheerios breakfast. It was an early rising for a Saturday, but I needed to be fueled for my 6:00 am walk. Today Lynnette and I were going for 12 miles in our training plan.

And so we did. With the weather looking promising, we packed water, stopped for a snack at the neighborhood grocery, and waited for Molly to bring replenishment at Mile 10. Finally, after climbing that final hill, we trudged back to the house. The day was looking good for my weight and clothes goals.

From there it sort of went downhill. Molly and friends brought by Starbucks, followed by lunch from Cheesecake Factory. I had the Navajo sandwich WITH french fries, and ate every bite. It was delicious, but I could hear my points calculator spinning out of control.

It continued to be a good news/bad news food day. The good news was I continued to convince myself that chocolate should not be an activity of choice. The bad news was that I thought a bite of Scout's cheesecake was. The good news was that the bite I ate was not all that fabulous, so I managed to refuse the remainder of the cheesecake. The bad news was that I kept bringing up the chocolate to myself all afternoon. The good news was that I continued to refuse the chocolate. I decided it was time for a nap.

After a doze on the couch and awaking somewhat refreshed, I decided to tackle the carport, which had become a mess. I moved things around, swept the floor, installed hooks for hanging stuff, and organized our stuff. Completely grungy by now, I showered, and spent most of the remainder of the day on the couch.

So, how did today stack up? At first, I thought I might get discouraged just because of one reckless meal. But instead, it reinforced my thought that I cannot let just one thing determine the success or failure of a day. The fact is, I did make progress today. Twelve miles is one short of a half marathon, and while our time today was slow, the miles are there - now I just need to work on my pace. Maybe all those miles today cancelled out some of today's lunch points.

Today was a day that could have appeared dismal. I could have focused on the things I failed to accomplish. But I realized there were too many good things to celebrate. Things like:

Being thankful for Lynnette who walks slow with me for our cause, and thankful for Molly who hauled herself out of bed to bring us liquids.

Being thankful I have an iSqueeze, that I used about ten times today to massage my aching dogs.

Being thankful for the days that I don't make huge leaps in pursuit of my eight goals - some days I just need to sit and rest. Every day is a day to be thankful - sometimes we just have to look a little deeper to find those blessings.

Today I walked twelve miles, I cleaned the carport, I washed my car, I took naps, and I sat. Today was a day to work, to indulge, and to recover. Today was a good day.

Day Three On Stage; 63 Waiting In The Wings

Today was another good day. Since Lynnette and I have a training walk tomorrow, I didn't want to do the usual eight miles. So, today I worked on running two miles without stopping. I ran the first mile, then soldiered on for a bit more. Technically, I can now claim that I can run more than one mile, and I have less than one mile to run to meet my goal! I am fabulous!

After the jog/walk, I went to Curves where I walked in on the "power half hour." This is when a demented yet toned leader directs you to higher heart rates through a series of physical moves on the recovery stations. It was an intense morning, but worthwhile since I went to lunch with Sam and Lynnette at Green Hills Grille, ordering my latest favorite, California Chop Chop Salad. I don't know the points, but I'm counting on it being okay, what with my extensive cardio workout from the morning. I did get into a vicious catfight later with myself over some chocolate in my kitchen at home, but I am scared of myself, so no chocolate was eaten.

After lunch, Sam and I had pedicures. I had taken him to get his first haircut when he was two; I think it only natural to get his first pedicure at 26! At least he didn't cry like he did with the haircut, although it was pretty funny to watch. Men are such wimps!!

During the afternoon, I made poppy seed bread to send to Maribeth, sent a birthday card to my niece Rachel, and completed other various routine tasks. Molly came over with friends, and gave me a special Mother's Day pin from our recent cruise.

Later in the afternoon, I assessed my work on my books, Flu and Toast. Currently, there are 5 stories completed for Flu, and 8 stories completed for Toast, with 7 stories in progress between the two. I worked on and completed another Flu story.

So, according to my calculations, in three days, I have touched on all goals except golf and the sidewalk. I'm thinking that maybe Sam will be a willing partner in golf, since the pedicure did not seem to thrill him.

I've been looking at my goals, and imagining the reactions for anyone who might read them. I wonder if the goals might seem trite and mundane. I question if people would think I should have loftier goals, like striving toward eliminating AIDS and hunger in Africa, or homelessness in America. I thought about these things, and have come to this conclusion:

For me at this time, these are goals that propel me into my future. Some might see a sidewalk project as one afternoon's work. But this is a project that has been on the burner for months, unable to be completed. How many projects do we have like that? Projects that are doable, but just sit there, inactive. This, then, is where I start. The sidewalk is a tangible goal, but perhaps the intangible goal is to pursue and complete those inert projects that inhabit our lives.

So these goals are just that - my goals for the next sixty-six days. In working towards realizing these goals, I'm moving towards becoming that person I was created to be - to complete that which was begun in me almost fifty years ago. I'm starting with these eight goals, then I'll see where I go from there.

Today was a good day. Today I am thankful for:

Sam, who is willing to experience sides of life that may be outside his box.

Molly, who made the effort to get me a surprise that she knew I would really like.

Maribeth, who wanted my poppy seed bread - it makes me happy that there is still something that she wants only from me.

The girls who work at Curves and create exercises that help me work off my extra butt.

God, who takes care of the small things. When my bread was cooking, I got the impression to go check on it. The timer said it had 12 minutes left to cook, but when I opened the oven, it was obviously brown, and passed the toothpick exam. Had I waited for the timer to buzz, Maribeth would have burned poppy seed bread.

Today was a good day. I know all days may not be good ones - or can they? Maybe a change is to see the good in all days, and not throw away any day as bad. Today was a good day.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Day Two Takes a Turn, 64 Await

Today was another good day. I ate sensibly and walked 8 miles. I made progress towards curbing destructive eating habits by thinking about the reasons I was tempted to eat.

But today was a busy day. I took the dog to the groomer. I flea-bombed my daughter Molly’s house, and changed out her mailbox. I cleaned out the gutters, and completed numerous other errands and tasks.

Somehow, in the middle of all this, I received a surprise. I got a message on my email that a Beth Rudd had a message for me on Face Book. Beth was my best friend from middle school. We even dressed alike on some school days, and wore our hair alike. We dated best friends and brothers. We marched in the band together, and learned to water ski together. We were really good friends, but somehow in the last years of high school, we drifted apart. Hearing from her was a blessing, and made me feel good. So much of my childhood I would rather forget, but remembering our friendship brought up a lot of good memories.

Maybe that’s part of what these sixty-six days are about. Not only seeing if I can make changes, but to notice the changes I have already made. Changes that mean a childhood wanting to be forgotten, can and should be remembered.

Changes that also mean concentrating more on my blessings, as I appreciate what they are. My daughter-in-law, Lynnette, gave me a blessings bowl for Christmas. I have tried to be vigilant about writing my blessings on paper, and putting them in the bowl, but I haven’t been as faithful as I would like. So, I am going to list every day the blessings I received that day.

Today, I am thankful for:

Starbucks, because today after a hot day’s grungy work, I ordered a Orange Mocha Frappachino Light, and it was only 2 points!! Absolutely delectable!

My old friend Beth, who made contact after 20 years of no contact, just to say hello, and the sweet memories that friendship brings.

The birds that delight me when they take a bath in my birdbath.

Squirrels who have finally learned how to use the squirrel feeder.

A phone call and picture from my daughter, Maribeth, who is hiking the AT

Today was a good day. Today I took a moment to see where I’ve been, and I can see where I want to go - for the next sixty-six days at least. Today, it’s all good.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Day One Down, 65 to Go

So today wasn't so bad. I stayed within my weight watchers points, I walked eight slow-going miles, and I worked out at Curves. My progress on the eight?

Weight: ate sensibly, stayed within the points, and drank a lot of water
Clothes: no visible change, but seemed a bit unrealistic to think a change would happen in only a few hours.
1/2 M Time: Walking for 8 will make 13 seem doable, and working out will create strength
2 Miles: Curves will build strength for running my ample butt for two miles
Coping: One cookie left, and I said no. I deserve a medal.

So, I've started. And hopefully the forthcoming posts won't seem as lame. In addition to wagers, any thoughts as to my ultimate prize for achieving my goals would be accepted.

Eight in 66

I bet you're wondering what these goals are. Solve world hunger and achieve world peace? Run for office? Enter the Olympics? Sorry, no.

My goals aren't quite as global. However, since you asked, they are as follows:

1. Weigh less than ###. For you, that means less than I did when I was nine months pregnant with my first child, which is less than my current weight. Which is greater than it was a month ago, before I went on my two-week cruise of gluttony. Whatever. I do have an exact number in mind, which I shall let you know. In sixty-six days.

2. Finish writing one 30-story book. Since I am in the middle of writing two such books, I am hoping to finish one. For the sake of this blog, said books shall be known as "Flu" and "Toast." I know. Intriguing. Again, wagers will be taken on which shall be finished in sixty-six days.

3. Omit food as a coping mechanism. In other words, when I am bored, frustrated, angry, unhappy, happy, sleepy, tired, blah, blah, blah, I usually find something to eat, as though the food would make everything better. Instead, it made my thighs bigger, not better. Which made me even more depressed, tired, sleepy ... well, you get the picture. So, in sixty-six days I hope to be doing other things rather than making a potato chip sandwich.

4. Run a half marathon (specifically the NYC half marathon on August 5) in 2 hours and 30 minutes. This will entail cutting about 25 minutes off my best half marathon time. This one scares me.

5. Comfortably wear a size ##. This would be one size smaller than my current snug size, which you also do not know, but will, come August 24.

6. Run two miles without stopping. I can run one, so I am going for two. Maybe this will help shave minutes off the half marathon.

7. Play golf ten times. I currently play at golf. My desire is to get better, to break 100. On nine holes. This goal does not include going to the driving range. It must be a round of nine holes or more, and not on the putt putt range.

8. Finish the front sidewalk project. This involves taking up the old brick, buying and hauling in the new brick, creating a larger space to place the new brick, and laying down the new brick. Does the goal get met if nice people come to help me?

So now you have them. My goals for the next sixty-six days. What are yours?

How It All Started

On August 24, I will turn 50 years old. For the past 50 years, I've had a lot of thoughts about this day. I mean, people who reached that age were OLD!!

While looking at the calendar, I realized that this event is sixty-six days away, and I began to think about all those ideas I had over the years. A lot of those ideas aren't going to happen. I will not be driving my space car. A lot of those ideas have already happened. I am married and have the three children of my dreams (okay, sometimes nightmares).

But there are still many things on my list of things to do. So why not start now? I thought about things I want to happen before August 24, and came up with a list of eight. Eight doable things.

So it begins. For the next sixty-six days, I will go about achieving these goals. I will let you in on how I am doing. I will even take wagers on which ones you think I will achieve!! I'm shooting for eight out of eight. Here we go!!