Day Forty-Two Looks Behind; 24 Looking Ahead

Today might as well start off by telling what I didn't do, which would be anything having to do with my goals. I didn't jog, didn't Curve, didn't write, didn't golf, and didn't accomplish anything on my list because there was no list.

What did I do? I got my hair done. I made a quilt. I watered the plants. I ate fairly reasonably. I took a nap.

I also had a gastro-intestinal disturbance this morning. I think my stomach was literally turning over, as if it wanted to position itself somewhere else in my abdomen. It pretty much took the balance of most of my morning. The good news is that I prayed to God, He healed me, and it was over.

I managed to recover by noon for my hair appointment. Afterwards, I shopped at REI and purchased a water bottle waist belt holder contraption for the 3-Day. Lynnette has already deemed her fanny pack a success, so I am hoping that this new thing will work for me.

It has been a pretty quiet day. Truthfully, I have to question my dedication to the Sixty-Six Days on a day like today. Am I really serious about these goals? If I am, then why am I letting a day pass by with no visible effort to work on my goals, especially in light of the dwindling number of days left?

I always come back to the same answer. Today I did what seemed right for today. Sure, I wished I could say that I played another round of golf, or ran two miles, or wrote several stories. But I didn't do any of those things. I took another break day. I'm not disappointed in anything I did or didn't do today. I'm glad today played out as it did. Today I did what was best for me, which was exactly the right thing to do for today.

Day Forty-One Waxes Off; 25 Waxing On

Monday - a day to take it easy after walking my feet off this weekend. I did manage to Curve, tactically avoiding the Power Hour. I spent the remainder of the day completing a few tasks and napping.

Steve and I had dinner at a new spot - The Dairy King. It rivals Bobbie's Dairy Dip, except that it serves hot food, including veggies. Afterwards we stopped by Nevada Bob's, where we found a 5-iron to replace my butchered club.

It would seem that nothing much happened today. The good thing about that is that nothing happened that would have detoured my goals pursuit. I didn't get a lot accomplished; I just stayed steady. Today was a good day just to maintain.

Day Forty Flies Off The Handle; 26 Still Attached

This morning, beginning at 6:15 am, Lynnette and I walked our 13 miles. Yes, we were scheduled for 15, but we decided not to kill ourselves, and instead do 13. We are quite pleased with ourselves, and feel that we are nearly prepared for our 3-Day. At least that's what we're telling ourselves!

After limping back to the house, we had lunch with Molly and Sam. Once everyone left, I decided to take a much-needed nap. This was a smart move, since it helped restore my energy for my 5:30 pm tee time with Steve. However, it did not improve my actual golf game.

I did have a few good shots. I did manage to hit over the ditch, albeit on the second ball. However, tragedy struck on the 8th hole.

I had finally managed to move the ball up the fairway, close to the checkered metal distance-marker pole thing. According to my calculations, I was in no danger of hitting said marker stick with the ball. Therefore, I did not pull the marker out of the ground. The good news is that I did not hit the marker with the ball. The bad news is that I did hit it with my club, basically decapitating my 5-iron. It was a sad moment. Below is a picture of the result.

WARNING: THIS PICTURE IS VERY GRAPHIC AND

MAY BE DISTURBING IF YOU ACTUALLY ARE A GOLFER!!

Amazingly, I also have a huge dent in my driver, on the top of the head where one would never hit a ball, so we're confused as to the origin of the dent. One might think my destruction of clubs would indicate a lack of respect for the equipment or total ineptness with the game. I choose to think I just don't have the correct clubs. My current plan is to continue to play with my current set of clubs, and methodically, yet innocently, destroy each one with my unique style of play until I have no clubs left. At that point I will have to get new clubs, which must certainly mean my game will improve. Or not. At any rate, today's round marks Round #8!!

Tonight I am a bit tired and my feet are a little achy. I am hoping for a good night's sleep (read this, Shaggy the Cat!) so I can get busy tomorrow. This next week will be hectic, as I have many things to do before we leave for New York on Friday, for the half-marathon next Sunday.

Time is starting to speed up, so I will have to speed up also. This stage of the sixty-six days is getting a little exciting, a little tiring, a little stressful, and a little overwhelming. I am looking forward to this project coming to a conclusion, and want to make sure I do everything I can to have a great finish.

I just hope I can get in these last two rounds of golf before I run out of clubs!

Day Thirty-Nine Winds Down; 27 Winding Up

Whew - we did it. Lynnette and I walked from here to there and back - a total of 18 miles. We had a few stops along the way for food and water and to chat with two Atlanta 3-Day walkers, but we met today's training goal. Today's forecast was for rain, so Lynnette carried the ponchos, which insured that it did not rain. The sun managed to stay behind the clouds, except for the four miles back up Broadway, part of which we had to walk in the street. Nevertheless, thanks to Molly and her iced washcloths, we managed to finish. Tomorrow is supposed to be 15 miles, but we are on a strictly "we'll see" advisory. We're also hoping for snow, big drifts that will prevent us from getting out.

In other news, I managed to avoid the Cheetos today. This is another step in the right direction as far as food is concerned. Hopefully I will keep moving in that direction!!

As far as anything else happening, there just wasn't. It's hard to get much going when your day is spent sitting on the couch with your legs up on the back of the couch, hoping blood will once again circulate through your legs.

Today was a physically demanding day. I'm tired and my heel aches, but I'm thankful I experienced every part of today. Today was indeed a good day.

Day Thirty-Eight Gets A New Driver's License; 28 With Only Permits

Today wasn't so bad. I jogged (yes, jogged) two miles, then went to Curves. It was my lucky day, because I was in time for Power Hour!! So, I got to sweat twice today. I did weigh - and have lost one more pound. I know you mathematicians are figuring how much I have to lose in the four weeks I have left - good for you. My weight loss can be done, although not with the Cheetos appetizer, main course, and dessert I had tonight, followed by a hamburger and brownie. I was carbo-loading for tomorrow's training walk with Lynnette - at least that's what I'm telling myself now.

I got my driver's license renewed today, complete with a new picture. The good news is that I do look better than I do on my previous license. At least now maybe the people who must examine it will stop looking at the license, then at me, then at the license, then at me, then say, "You sure have changed since then."

I also potted plants today, went to the recycle bins, purchased some groceries, and made brownies and fudge and sent them to Maribeth, who has made it to New Hampshire.

After dinner, Lynnette and I drove all over Nashville in order to come up with a 18-mile route for tomorrow's mega-walk. We believe we have one that should be interesting. Or ridiculous. It's good that we only have four weeks left - our common sense is beginning to take over our philanthropic sense. Four weeks from this moment, after we have done a 20-mile day, and are sleeping on the ground in a tent, I'm not sure we will have any sense left at all.

As far as my sixty-six days go, I have four weeks left. Am I getting nervous? Not really. Am I concerned that I may not make all my goals? Not yet. Am I as committed as ever to the remaining goals? Yes, because they have become part of my life, not just things to check off a list. I realize I still have a lot of work ahead of me. But I am even more committed to achieving these goals in order to make some changes in my life.

Four weeks from today I will be 50 years old. I plan to be thinner, faster, smarter, and a better golfer. It sounds like a great way to start the next 50 years.

Day Thirty-Seven Is Washed and Dried; 29 In the Hamper

Thursday. What can I report about today? I managed to Curve, but didn't walk. I made out my daily list, but it was very short. I wrote some stuff, but it didn't have to do with my book. I tried on some pants, but they didn't fit.

Speaking of pants not fitting, can I just vent for a moment?

Why can a person comfortably wear a certain size in one brand and look like a stuffed pig in the exact same size of another brand? I think this is evil and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Thank you for that moment. I am not pacified, but my bad karma has been expelled. It may reappear in 29 days, as I shall be seeking a pair of pants to squeeze in to.

Anyhow, there has been some success today. Tomorrow is weigh day, which will probably also be known as Black Friday. But I will leave that discussion for tomorrow.

Today's success was as follows: Tomorrow I shall be starting a new exercise which shall be known as kicking myself in my own butt to get myself motivated. Knowing this, I could have tied one on tonight. Knowing that tomorrow I was going to have to really step up my exercise/eating efforts, my first thought was, "Well, let's just go eat a Big Mac Deal, super-size. After all, we're getting serious tomorrow." This was, of course, after my dinner. But I prevailed. I drove past McD's, straight to Starbucks.

Again, the Evil Eat It All Voice in my head said, "Get the grande size - it's only two more points, and besides tomorrow, you are going to really get with it." Again, I said no, and got the tall size.

Finally, at home watching tv, the EEIAV said, "Get a snack. Eat a cheese and mayonnaise sandwich or two. Pop some popcorn. Tomorrow you will work it off." I did none of those things. I did eat three pretzels, which is acceptable. I managed to say no to food. I do believe I made a step forward in my choosing food goal. Yay me.

The next few days and weeks are going to be arduous and stressful. Lynnette and I have a huge training weekend ahead. I think the days I've had recently have given me a chance to get ready. I hope so, because things are about to get busy.

Day Thirty-Six Tivo-ing; 30 Switching Channels

What did I do today? Let me think. I think that would entail just about nothing.

I drove home from Fall Creek Falls, unloaded my gear, watered the flowers, cleaned out the bird bath, talked with Rebekah, and cooked dinner. I think that was pretty much my day.

I didn't walk, I didn't Curve, I didn't even have a list to check off. I took the day off, I vegged out, I did absolutely nothing. I just was.

It was a good day.

Day Thirty-Five Pitches a Tent; 31 Still Hiking

Today I actually saw the Fall Creek Falls of Fall Creek Falls. Since this was going to be my last full day, I felt compelled to hike somewhere. I studied the various hiking maps strewn about the Inn. I located the bike trail, and set off. Along the way, I saw my new friend, Bambi.

Two miles later, I arrived at the Falls Overlook:

I then noticed a sign to the left, indicating the path for the .4 mile hike to the bottom of the falls. If I had any leftover illusions about hiking the AT with MB, this pretty much squelched those insane thoughts. My knees and ankles have promised to abandon me should I ever consider such a stunt.

Finally, I arrived at the bottom of the falls. It was beautiful, which I enjoyed as long as I could, with the ever-present thought that I would have to hike back up the .4 mile path to the overlook, which was still two miles from the inn.

I had barely started back up the .4 mile trek, when it started to rain. Rain and climbing on rocks are not always compatible, but I managed to make it back up to the overlook, and then started on the two miles to the inn. The tree canopy kept me from getting soaked from the rain, just wet. I eventually made it back to the room, took a hot shower, and watched the rain from my balcony.

The rain brought humidity with it, which gave me a horrendous sinus headache, so I spent the afternoon sleeping. I got up, ate at the buffet (too much Southern cooking for me to be sensible) and returned to the room to polish off two more stories, which now amounts to 17 for Toast. While I was not as productive as yesterday, I am happy that I did accomplish something.

Today God gave me a physical activity to parallel this project. My walk started off fine, full of enthusiasm, beauty, and surprises. At the mid-point, everything looked pretty nice. The last part got a little more challenging with obstacles and rain, but I persevered and made it through. He's telling me that this last half if going to be hard, but if I keep going, I will make it. I want to believe it, so I have to believe it.

Tomorrow I go back to my everyday life. These three days were a nice break. I didn't get everything accomplished that I wanted to do, but I did get some insight and a little rest. Now it's time to persevere and keep going to the end.

Day Thirty-Four Slides Down; 32 Climbing up the Ladder

Today I feel like a writer. I can understand why Thoreau extolled the virtues of Walden - there's nothing like the woods for great inspiration. A few examples of my "Walden":

The view from my balcony

Bambi stopped by to say hello

Today has been a great day for writing. As of this blog moment, I have completed fifteen stories for "Toast" and seven for "Flu". I have great hopes for tomorrow. I also plan to actually get out and hike a trail or two, as today it rained for much of the day.

Today has really been the first day that I have focused on my goal of writing. It has been very rewarding to devote time strictly to this goal. I realize that I have been trying to fit writing in here and there during my spare moments. If I am serious about writing, I have to spend time each day dedicated solely to this pursuit.

I am now in the "diminishing days" portion of this project. I have fewer days left than I have already used. I could easily obsess over whether I will be able to complete all my goals in the time I have left. But I refuse to focus solely on the time left, choosing instead to spend my mental and emotional energy working on completion of my goals.

I have a lot of work left to do. I have jogging to speed up, golf rounds to play, stories to write, food urgings to resist, and pounds and a clothes size to lose. All I can do is earnestly work towards those targets with the intention of achieving them all.

God has given me the tools I need to reach these objectives. He has proven that He is with me every step of the way. Maybe that's part of this process - to realize that I cannot do it all on my own, but with God's help, I can do anything. Knowing that, no number of days left can sway my determination to succeed.

Day Thirty-Three Rolls Doubles; 33 Shaking the Dice

There are days God likes to demonstrate his sense of humor. I mean, here I am, at the middle point of this project, and here I am, in the middle of nowhere.

By nowhere, I am referring to the Inn at Fall Creek Falls. I do not camp, nor do I care to camp. Maribeth can have it. Just driving through the woods convinced me that my sleeping in a lean-to or tent should never happen.

I am staying in The Inn. This "hotel" is for city folks who don't camp. However, I believe they want you to feel as close to camping as you can. My room is fine - two beds with sheets, a telephone, a color television (I believe), a bathroom with toilet and six-foot long counter, and a balcony overlooking the lake.

However, there is no cell service, and the wireless connection is in the lobby. This is where I am, observing three golfer men watching and interacting with "To Kill A Predator", and listening to a family with four teenagers having an animated conversation about tattoos and body piercings.

I have already had dinner, which was at the Inn Restaurant. Basically, you could have fried meat, a burger, or the buffet. I chose the salad bar (one trip price) and a Diet Dr. Pepper. Total bill: $5.85. Two of the best parts: hearing the waiter pop open the DDP cans to fill my drink order, and when you go to the cashier, she asks you (in a quiet voice) if you want to add a tip. You tell her how much, and she adds it to your credit card. My waiter got a nice tip - he did have to open TWO cans.

Anyhow, I do believe this is the place for me. With no cell service, it should be very quiet. And with the Internet connection a hassle, I don't think I will be wasting time surfing the net. So, I should get a lot of writing, introspection, and rest. There also appears to be lots of hiking, fishing, and other outdoor activities. I hope they sell tick spray somewhere.

Along with his humor, I also love God's sense of timing. Why else would he impress on me to go away now? Could it be because this happens to be the half-way point? Could it be that He knows I need some quiet time at this point?

Today I realize how good God is. He is in this project with me, and is taking care of details. He has provided me with a quiet place to be, full of His beautiful creation. He has provided me with natural entertainment - people. I have the opportunity to listen, observe, and learn.

Today is the beginning of an adventure that is an important step in my sixty-six days. Today is the end of the first half, and the beginning of the second half. Today has been a memorable day for ending and beginning.

Day Thirty-Two Sets in the West; 34 Rising in the East

What a beautiful day! The weather was breezy and sunny, but not stifling, so Lynnette and I had a nice training walk. Or maybe it's just because we only had to do ten miles!! It's funny how short and easy ten miles seems when we did 17/14 last week. Of course, we are refusing to even think about next week's mileage!!

The rest of today was equally lovely. I sat in the sun room, and enjoyed the weather. Later in the afternoon, Steve and I played golf - round #7!!

It's been a quiet day. Nothing exciting, nothing out of the ordinary - just a pleasant, peaceful day. I can't even make any kind of judgement on it - it just needs to sit where it is - a day just to enjoy.

Tomorrow I go on my "retreat". There are moments I question why I am doing it, but I know it is important. My plan is to enjoy nature and write. We'll see how that pans out. Tomorrow is also the half-way point in this project. Although I've not completed half of my goals, I can see progress. I am confident that the second half will be as intriguing as the first (for me, anyway).

Today I just "let it slide." Some days are made for this - just to let everything relax. Days like this are definitely good days.

Day Thirty-One Sails Away; 35 Waiting on the Dock

It's always amazing how God teaches me a lesson one day, then gives me a reason to use it the next. Yesterday I wrote about how I put just enough effort into things to get the results I want, all the while knowing that more effort would produce greater results. Today I realize why I needed to think about that.

Today I got on that evil piece of equipment known as the dreaded bathroom scales. Ugh. I haven't lost any pounds, which disheartened me. But I realize that if I really want to lose these 19 pounds, I have to get really serious about what I eat. I fool myself into thinking that a little cleaning up of my eating habits will produce fabulous results. The fact is that cleaning up is not enough. I have been talking this talk for weeks - now it is time to be determined, and do what I know I can do.

I have five weeks left. Can I lose 16 pounds in five weeks? I have done it before, on a healthy Weight Watchers plan. I believe I can do it again. I am going to have to be sincere on this issue and stand firm. I have to follow the plan as I should, and not rationalize myself into believing I can deviate from it. By doing so, I will see a positive change next Friday.

Today I see a goal that is not going to be achieved by making a half-hearted effort. If I am serious and really want to realize this goal, I am going to have to work hard at it. At the end of this sixty-six days, I know I will see successes. But the real success will be the effort I have put into achieving each goal, because that effort will determine for me the importance of each goal.

Tonight I have decided that each goal is truly significant to me. Tonight I am determined to do my best and try my hardest.

Tomorrow will come soon enough. Tomorrow these words which seem so bold will pale when faced with real life again. But I know I have the strength within me to fight to reach my goals, because it's not just the goals I'm fighting for - I'm fighting for me.

Day Thirty Closes the Book; 36 Still Reading

Yesterday wasn't a fluke. Today I ran two miles again. I kept finding other things to do this morning in order to put off the "two mile test." I didn't go out to run until 1:00 pm. which wasn't the wisest time to run. Yes, it was hot. Yes, the sun was truly blazing down. Yes, my pace was slow. And yes, I ran the two miles. Was I certain I would do it? Not until I had returned and was walking in my back door. But now I am confident that I can indeed run two miles without stopping. Yay me!!

Once I had recovered, I worked in my yard. I pulled weeds, arranged a brick border in the back, and tied up unruly rose bushes on little trellises. I am not a gardener and do not aspire to be one. But I like the way the flowers look in my backyard, so I have to do a bit of maintenance.

Unfortunately, the hanging basket on my front porch has a dying petunia plant in it. What I thought was enough water was clearly not. I also got rid of a nasty vine-type plant that was threatening to grow all over my sun room. I didn't know what to do with it and didn't like it anyway, so I decided it was evil and tossed it. As for the aforementioned rose bushes, I don't know what kind they are, since my landscape guy didn't pick them out (Home Depot and I did). Needless to say, I chose the rose delinquent kind, as they are growing all over the place, and putting out few roses and lots of thorns.

Today my gardening and running efforts shared my day. What do they have in common? Both require my preparation and maintenance if I am to enjoy a positive outcome. Both take time, and can be unpleasant if done at the wrong time of day. I make mistakes with both activities, and have to manage the consequences of my mistakes (ice the ankle, toss the plant). I am an expert at neither, and there are scads of people who do both with more dedication and experience than I. Sometimes I choose the wrong equipment (running clothes, rose bushes) and I have to make do or get new. I could work harder at both, and get better results, but I'm not that driven right now. Ultimately, if it's what I really want, then I will put forth the effort needed to get the results I desire.

So, I will continue to try to keep my plants alive and pretty, and I will continue to jog my two miles. I will enjoy the beauty of the flowers and rejoice when I reach that two-mile marker. Both endeavors will give me great pleasure, not just because the flowers are pretty and I completed the miles, but because it's something I do just for me. As I grow that lovely yellow rose and as I run those last steps, I find myself extending my horizons. Maybe that's what these sixty-six days are about - not only reaching these eight goals, but finding new ones all along the way.

Day Twenty-Nine Weighs in; 37 Still Counting Calories

Today was a day full of promises fulfilled. It all started as usual. I had breakfast, then took a little extra time to catch up on my morning devotional reading. I decided to check my email, and I read the happy announcement that Puffy Emily is now a grandma to Micah! Good news is always a great way to start the morning!!

I suited up for the road, because I knew I HAD to resume walking/jogging this morning. I stepped out about 8, knowing it was later than usual and it was going to be hot and humid. Regardless of the obvious heat factor, I kept feeling that this was the day to run, and that today I was going to run the two miles. I just kept hearing God tell me, "Today is the day."

I started jogging, making deals all along the way, such as, "Well, if I go to the stop sign, that's a little over 1.7 miles ... Well, I've had two days off, so however far I get today will be okay ..." Every time I would think of a comment, I would hear God say, "Whatever. Keep talking. You're going to do the two miles today." And guess what - I DID!!! It was an awesome feeling, and I felt very thankful. Needless to say, I was extremely sweaty and hot, but I was still breathing and my heart was not going into attack, so I was okay. Molly came through with the ice water, so I survived. Second goal accomplished!! Now I just have to keep running those two miles!!

With such a momentous start to the morning, one would think I would just sit back and bask in the glow. But, I was very buoyed by the morning, so I kept going. I did my thing at Curves, ran a few errands, then returned home for lunch and clean up. I made reservations for a few days in the country so I could have some quiet time to focus on writing. I will leave on Sunday for a few nights at Fall Creek Falls, and am looking forward to some time to rest and create.

The rest of the afternoon was spent running errands and completing tasks on my list. Today ended in dinner with Sam, Lynnette, and Molly. What a fulfilling day!

I've thought about the differences from one day to the next. One day I don't seem to get much done, and the next I complete a goal. I often prefer to see a constant progression of steps leading to an accomplishment. I worry that my goals won't be fulfilled if I don't have a steady pace of forward movement.

But I realize that taking days to rest physically, mentally, and emotionally are important in completing my goals. The days that I don't think I am getting anywhere are just as important as the days I work hard, because those rest days give my body time to recharge.

Today helps me see that in my quest for these goals, there are going to be all different kinds of days. I just have to keep going, and accept each day as it comes. I have to keep my goals in front of me, then see how the day can be used to pursue those goals. Just as God told me today that it would be my two-mile day, He will tell me how every day can be used.

Today was a victorious day. I have now achieved two of the eight, and have six left. In the next 37 days, there will be days of victory and days of setback; there will be days of boundless energy and days of near-collapse; there will be days of unbridled enthusiasm and days of morose pessimism; and there will be days of sunlight and joy and days of clouds and melancholy. But each day will have its purpose and place in my life. Each day will move me along on the path to my goals. Each day will change me because I will appreciate and learn from each one. Ultimately I will blessed, because I will realize that each day, whatever it may have been, was truly a good day.

Day Twenty-Eight Turns Off; 38 Still On

Today has pretty much gone by in a blur. I got a late start this morning. By the time I finished Curves, it was nearly noon, and too hot to walk. I think my legs were relieved, and relished the extra day off. That's okay, as tomorrow we will get back to business.

Today I ran errands, cleared out some junk boxes, and filed some papers. I did a little shopping for some yard projects. I had a very short "to do" list today, and got about half done.

Today just sort of slipped by - nothing exciting to report. So what was the significance of today?

Yesterday I talked about touching the lives of strangers. Today I had a chance to really understand what that means.

I had very little contact today with people I didn't know personally. As I was checking out at Target, the clerk was very nice. He scanned my stuff, I scanned my card, we exchanged pleasantries, and I was gone. A few hours later, I drove to Starbucks and ordered my usual. When I pulled up to the window, the guy at the window said, "Today's high five day," and we high fived. He then commented that my shirt matched my car and I agreed. I got my drink, and drove off.

Which guy made the impact on my life? The high-fiver. He put a little effort into our meeting, and it boosted my spirits. I see how just the little things can make a difference to someone. Just that little effort made a personal connection that brought a smile to my face.

I have eight goals that I believe will make my life better. But I also want to believe that I can maybe make another person's life better, even for just a moment. All it takes is stopping and really recognizing that person as someone deserving of my attention. Maybe that one moment will make the difference in making a stranger's day a good day.

Day Twenty-Seven Takes the Field; 39 In the Dugout

Mondays. What can you say about them? Depending on your weekend, Mondays can be a recovery day, a penance day, or a fresh new day to start the week. For me, it was a "I walked 29 blinking miles this weekend" day. In other words, my emotions pretty much are indicative of my expression in my picture to the side.

I had a huge list of things to do, and I got most of them done. I even had time for lunch with Sam and Steve. Maybe that's where I started to falter. I ordered an appetizer for the table, and partook of said appetizer. I also ate the cheese biscuits. I even sampled Steve's fried popcorn shrimp. Why? Because I rationalized that I had walked 29 blinking miles this weekend. Therein lies my downfall - rationalization. Clearly this is something I am going to have honestly confront.

After lunch, I ran more errands. Dinner was a hamburger, chips, and those Nutter Butter cookies from the weekend. Again, I rationalized that I COULD eat them, and so I did.

What have I learned? I have to seriously write down what I am eating. I need to look at what I am eating and when, so I can figure out why. While keeping a food diary does not appeal to me, I know it is what I must do, if I am to seriously tackle my food issue.

As far as the rest of today went, I mostly did errands. But it does make me feel content to see all the things that I did accomplish today. Those are the things I must focus on, and not let the slip-ups ruin what was a productive day. This is why I keep my daily list, and write down every thing I do - so I can focus on what was achieved. I not only see the completed task, but I also think about the details of a particular task, and who that task affected. In this way, I can stay positive, think about those whose lives I touched, and put the day in perspective.

Today there was a lot of grunt work done. Today was a busy day after a tiring weekend. It wasn't all fabulous, but it was real.

Sometimes the real days seem the hardest, but for me, it's the real days that help me realize there's more to this life than just me. There are people whose lives I touched today - at Red Lobster, at the recycle bins, at the furniture stores, at the cleaners, at the car wash, and at Starbucks. Did my brush with their lives make a difference? I hope so, because sometimes the best days are when you share a good day with a stranger.

Day Twenty-Six Races By; 40 Getting Gassed Up

Today started at 5:30 am when that evil task-master Lynnette showed up for our training walk. We trudged our 12 miles, with our legs completing the final mile strictly on auto-pilot. In appreciation to our lower extremities, we have eliminated the word "walk" from our vocabulary tomorrow.

After we returned to Crestridge, Lynnette napped on the floor and then woke up and showered. I cleaned out the birdbath and refilled the feeders, then started preparing lunch. I managed to get a shower before our lunch guests, Sam and their house guests Jolynna, Ben, Bennett and Johanna, joined the rest-fest.

I spent the rest of the afternoon hobbling around the house, and sitting/sleeping wherever I found a place to perch. One of the sitting spells resulted in two stories being written - a small yet significant step forward for my book goal.

As of this writing, I am weary but I am content. I am sore but I am joyful. I am tired, but I am thankful. Today is a day where physically I have nothing left. But every ache and tired muscle reminds me that I am indeed alive, and I have a wonderful life filled with great blessings.

Today I thank God for every part of this life, and the love with which He has given it to me. Today is a good day.

Day Twenty-Five Skates Away; 41 Lacing Up

I must confess. I have sinned. Last night after posting on this blog, I had an orgy with a carton of ice cream and a bottle of chocolate sauce. It was ugly. I felt horrible, both physically and mentally. My physical discomfort continued with every mile of my training walk this morning. I hope I have learned something from this.

Why did I do this deed? What was I thinking? Clearly, thinking was not a part of the equation. I refused to think, to consider, to control. My brain went on hiatus, and my mouth went on an ice-cream vacation. I hope it enjoyed the fun - I don't plan for it to happen again!

Still in a haze from last night's binge, I woke at 4:50 am this morning so I could get dressed for today's brutal 17-mile training walk with Lynnette. Of course, being the sadist she is, Lynnette showed up on time, and off we went. Today's walk was not pretty. It was long, and it was hot. We stopped for a snack to keep us going. The sun could not have hidden in the clouds, as there were no clouds today. Since it couldn't hide, the sun decided to shine down with all its power on us. At various points along the route, I think we questioned our quest, our sanity, and our reason for existence. The good news is that we completed all 17 miles. The bad news is that tomorrow we are supposed to do 13!!

After the walk of torture, I consumed a Weight Watchers frozen dinner, and luxuriated in a few I-Squeeze sessions. Sam called and wanted to play golf. I guess I thought I had not had enough physical exercise today, I joined him. We played a horrendous (or humorous, depending on your perspective) front nine. Sam's friends, Zach and Pat, joined us for the back nine. My game improved a bit, and we found a dozen golf balls. So, we considered the round a success.

Having finished my sixth round of golf, I came home, showered, washed some clothes, and went to the grocery store in preparation for tomorrow's lunch. I stopped by Starbucks for a pick-me-up, since I was to pick up Molly and Steve at 9:30. Having done that, I am now posting with toothpicks propping open my eyelids so I can finish and pass out. Tomorrow at 5:00 am is going to come all too quickly.

Today was a day to enjoy the company of friends and family. Lynnette and I sweated and encouraged each other in order to finish today's training objective. I am thankful that she is training with me and pushes me to meet our targets.

Sam and I enjoyed an interesting 7 holes of golf, and then with Zach and Pat enjoyed a fun and rewarding nine holes of golf. I am thankful that Sam appreciates the unpredictability of any given golf shot, and doesn't let it affect the fun of the game. I am thankful for all my playing partners today, and their patience with my game and restraint from confiscating my clubs.

Today was about physical activity, which hopefully will result in changes in my weight and clothing size. Today I made another step towards completing my golf goal.

But the most important part of today was appreciating the blessings of having young people in my life who encourage and support me, and whose company I enjoy. My life is happier for being around them. Any day with them will always be a good day.

Day Twenty-Four Ticks By; 42 Still On The Clock

Today is another numerology day - 24-42-66? Or maybe those are my current measurements... As of today, I have seven weeks to go!

Today was travel day for GDizzle. Shaggy The Cat, who has been perturbed that someone has been sleeping in his king-sized bed, made sure I was up early. I had my egg/grits combo and made the coffee. GDiz got up around 7:00, had breakfast, a short walk, and a shower, and we were off. Ten hours later after pulling out of my driveway, I was pulling back in.

All in all, it was a good trip. We stopped once for a McDonald's lunch (I had a McChicken, since GDiz was paying, and it was on the $1 menu). I stayed long enough in Columbus to move Maribeth's AT map, go to the bathroom, and get some snacks.

GDiz loaded me up with a pack of Nutter Butters, a bag of Cheetos, and a full-sugar Pepsi. The Pepsi was easy to resist, since I'd just as soon drink tar. But the Cheetos and NB's - well, that is temptation to a "T". But I persevered and kept the evil food away from my lips. I tried to rationalize eating at least one of the treats, but I stood firm. I am one powerful woman. Sort of.

I stopped for gas, tossed the Cheetos, but held on to the NB's for tomorrow's 17-mile training limp-fest with Lynnette. I went into the market and bought pretzels and Diet Dr. Pepper for the remaining ride home. I was proud of myself. However, once I got home, I ate the rest of the spaghetti and corn, a smidgen of a brownie, and 2 Trisquits. Not a grand plan, but one that showed some degree of restraint.

So, how did today stack up? I did pretty well resisting the call of the food - but I let loose once I got home. There was no exercise of any sort today, but I think tomorrow will take care of that. I am still lagging in the writing department, but I hope to report advancements on that soon.

Today is Friday the 13th. A few months ago, I would be looking for all the bad things that happened today. But today is just a Friday and 13 is just a number. The important things about today are:

Twenty-two years ago, my niece Rachel, who is in Thailand, was born in Chile.

I spent five hours with my father-in-law and had the opportunity to offer him the reassurance he needs at this time in his life.

I battled with a pack of Nutter Butters and I won.

I found an oldies radio station that lasted the whole trip to Mississippi.

I had a safe trip from Nashville to Columbus and back.

I had a quiet ride back and a quiet night at home tonight.

Fifty is Fabulous has made our $8000 goal (which today is actually $13 over our goal)!

I googled myself and now I think I'm famous.

Today was a time to think and reflect, to consider and resist, to plan and hope, and to contemplate and appreciate. I travelled through three states, read blogs of young women working in Thailand and Peru, and relished the feeling of being in my own home. Today was a full day, and I'm thankful for every part of it.

Day Twenty-Three Is Sewn Up; 43 Unraveling

I think today was all about my food management. At least, that's what I'm claiming.

It started at a reasonable hour. I got dressed to jog and had a granola bar for breakfast. My father-in-law is visiting, and was planning to eat breakfast at the Pancake Pantry with the rest of the family. I was not going to attend so I could walk long without a lot of questions and worry on his part. He decided he wanted to walk down the street, and not wanting him to get lost, I went with him. We walked about a half mile, and then came back. He and Steve went off to breakfast.

My plan for a long walk was working until I walked out the door. That's when Beagle, the stray dog, came wagging up. Beagle was extremely friendly, and obviously not where she should be. I didn't want to compound her problems by having her walk with me further into the unknown, so I kept hanging around the house, hoping that she would get bored and wander back home. Beagle was not interested. She would go to the back, and when I started out the front, here she would come again.

So, no jogging. Soon Molly and GDizzle came home. Molly played with Beagle for awhile, until she had to go home to pack. Since GDiz was back at the house, I knew there would be no jogging today. Stressor #1.

I changed into regular clothes (for me) and proceeded to attempt to entertain GDiz (Stressor #2) until 10:00. I planned to pick up Molly for transport to the airport with Steve, for their trip to San Francisco. At the appointed time, GDiz and I picked Molly up, then toured around Nashville until 11:00, when I knew Steve would be returning home for a quick lunch before the airport run.

Steve came home. I fixed them sandwiches,while I had leftover spaghetti. We went to the airport, leaving Beagle. GDiz and I returned home, where he took a nap until 2:00. I had until 4:00 to entertain some more (Stressor #3) until Sam took over. Meanwhile, the neighbor, her friend, and the other neighbor were still trying to figure out what to do with Beagle (Stressor #4).

GDiz and I went to Home Depot to buy a rain gauge, which they were out of, so we went to Wal Mart (Stressor #5). We purchased said rain gauge, and returned home to install it, at which time the next shift took over. Neighbor called to ask for any news about Beagle, since her company was concerned about Beagle, and talk of calling the pound came up (Stressor #6). Meanwhile, the plan was hatched for me to drive GDiz home tomorrow, a trip of 5 hours each way, just me and GDiz (Stressor #7-infinity).

The point of this whole story is that today was an outwardly cool, yet inwardly stressful day. I could have eaten everything in my kitchen, topped off with chocolate sauce. But I did not do it. I did eat - raisins, apples, turkey, and butter beans. Yes, I did eat under stress, which is not what I want to do. But I did eat healthy and semi-intelligently. I think this is a step forward.

However, the aforementioned trip is tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

By the way, this morning I weighed, and I have lost 3 pounds. Yay me. Now that's motivation!!

Day Twenty-Two Is In Focus, 44 Seeing Double

Twenty-two days down, forty-four to go, sixty-six in all, and today is the 11th. A numerologist would have a field day with this!

Today was an interesting day. I woke up to rain, and quickly decided that I was not going to run in it. I decided instead to stay in my pajamas and work on cleaning the upstairs. The thought of Curves entered my brain, but I decided against that, also. Did I feel guilty? Not so much. I knew that if I could clean the upstairs of my house, the residual good feelings from doing that would greatly improve my state of mind. So I cleaned and organized, and the results make me very happy and content.

Sam brought lunch, which was a reasonable chicken taco salad. The unreasonable part was when I practically inhaled it, as I was running late and had a noon appointment with Rebekah. I still managed to arrive on time, and was greatly encouraged by the time spent talking.

The rest of the afternoon was spent finishing the upstairs, Target shopping with Molly, and preparing the family dinner to welcome my father-in-law for a visit. Having been widowed last Thanksgiving, he is coming to visit to our home for the first time in many years. He and Steve finally arrived, and we spent the rest of the evening visiting and showing him around.

So where were my goals in all this activity today? They were taking a breather. As I look at the numbers of days, I realize that I have twice as many left as I have spent to date on this project. If my life were only about this project, then I would be in a panic, relentlessly pursuing these goals with a ferocious passion.

But an unexpected gift is that having these goals has helped me put my life into perspective. Focusing on these goals has enabled me to focus on so many other things in my life. Even today when my goals were on hiatus, they weren't far from my mind. But I've been able to keep them in view, and not panic if I'm not working on them. I've been able to appreciate and enjoy all of my life, not just the immediate tasks that I want to accomplish.

Another gift I receive is that by taking a break, I find myself more enthusiastic about getting back to them, which makes me excited. It means my goals have become my friends to work with, not adversaries that I must overcome.

Everyday I have spent on this project has brought insights and pleasures that I never imagined. The best part is that I am seeing the joys in life that I previously overlooked. At this point, I am not as far in my goals as I thought I would have been. But I am happier than I could have envisioned. Instead of worrying about what each day will bring, I find myself thinking about what I will learn and live tomorrow. It's a great and blessed way to live.

Day Twenty-One Takes a Drink; 45 Still Underage

Today I've stalled. It's been three weeks since I started this project. I wouldn't go so far as to say I am discouraged. But today I want to fit into smaller clothes. Today I want to run for two miles. Today I want to finish my book. But those things aren't going to happen today.

Today I only walked seven miles, because it started raining. Today I felt hungrier than usual, so I ate a little more. I still ate with some integrity - no candy or chocolate, just turkey wraps (plain) and Trisquits. Today I got half of my to-do list completed. Today I had several things to think about and ruminate over. Today I just didn't feel like I had any momentum.

So if I am to learn something from each day, to recognize the good and the blessings in each day, and to truly appreciate each day, then what can I take from today?

Today I did make some good food choices. I was severely tempted to devour large quantities of edibles to feed my frustration. But I stopped myself in time.

Today I walked seven miles, which is seven more than zero miles. I didn't run; I just walked. But I got the miles in.

Today it seems like I merely maintained. Maybe that's my lesson for today - some days I just need to keep the status quo.

Today it seems as if I just went through the motions. But I know if I keep trying, I will clearly see those goals again, and be encouraged and motivated to push myself. I'm not going to give up, or give in, or give out.

It's like the process I go through when I do Sudoku. I do them in small chunks of time. I'll work a few minutes on one and when I can't figure the puzzle out, I'll put it down. The next time I come back to it, I can find the numbers easily, and what seemed impossible to solve is solved in a matter of minutes.

Maybe that's what today is - it's the session where there seems to be no solution, and the whole process seems a little dispiriting. But I believe that tomorrow I will come back to it, and maybe find another piece. I've just got to keep trying.

Day Twenty Opened; 46 Still in the Cans

What a day. Lots to do, lots done, lots to think about.

I started with my usual 8-mile route. The good news is that I ran part of the first mile and all of the second. The bad news is that I forgot my water bottle and my snack money back at home. This meant that I was going to have to walk all of the remaining six miles, since I had no way of hydrating.

About two miles from home, I got a call from Sam. He wanted to let me know that Rosie, one of their cats, had passed away. Rosie had been sick for awhile, and had gotten worse over the weekend. I was very sad to hear that she had died, and very sad thinking about how much Lynnette will miss her.

After I got home and re-hydrated, I went to Curves, mailed two care packages to Maribeth, made stops by Home Depot and Staples, went to Molly's to replace a foundation vent, and returned home to replace the fill valve on my toilet (that's the ball thingy in the tank for you novices). I made phone calls, hotel reservations, and dinner plans. I filled the feeders, washed out the bird bath, and emptied the dishwasher.

I wrote down every morsel that I put in my mouth up until I went to dinner with Sam and Lynnette. When I came home, I forgot about it. On purpose.

What was today like? There were good parts and sad parts. There were lazy parts and busy parts. I accomplished eight of twelve things on my to-do list. I had other things I planned to do, but got distracted and didn't get them done.

On the surface, there seemed to be nothing spectacular about today. I almost let today pass by in this light. But thankfully, I thought again.

Today was a day to remember a little cat that brought love and joy into the lives of Sam and Lynnette. Today was a day to spend time with Sam and Lynnette and have some interesting conversation (even though I did spill my Starbucks on my shirt). Today was a day to look out and enjoy the huge rainstorm we had (because I love rainstorms). Today was a day to tackle a home repair project that I had never done before, and be successful (at least so far!). Today was a day to ask a favor from my family, and see it answered in such a sweet way.

I almost let today go by without realizing all the blessings it contained. Sometimes I allow the most seemingly routine day pass by as just routine; but by doing so, I miss the precious moments it has. I'm grateful that I didn't let today pass by. I would have missed so much.

By stopping and thinking about today, I realized how blessed I was. Today was indeed a good day.

Day Nineteen Checked Off, 47 Still To Do

Today started WAY too early. I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I decided to watch tv, and watched The Devil Wears Prada. The rest of the morning consisted of coffee, church, and brunch with the family at The Copper Kettle. I skipped breakfast in order to eat my fill for brunch - not the wisest of ideas. Yes, it was delicious; it just wasn't a wise choice for my waistline. Once again, I am reminded that I have to be in control of what I eat, and not rationalize poor choices. After lunch, Steve went to the pool, and I finally got the nap I needed. It's been a pretty quiet day.

Yesterday I was reading the current issue of Runner's World. I was skimming through some of the articles, and happened upon the last sentence in an article I had skipped. It said:

"He would have 66 days to make up the lost
ground."

Of course, I couldn't let that last sentence pass by, not with those number of days staring me in the face. I went back and read the article. It was about a race called The Bunion Derby held in 1928. Runners were vying for $25,000, and would run from Los Angeles to New York City. The sentence was about Andy Payne, who was in 11th place when the runners had reached Arizona. When asked about his strategy for the rest of the race, Payne said it would be to "just keep stepping from day to day."

It's little things like this article that continue to convince me that God is in this project with me. I can imagine Him on the sidelines, like those spectators for a marathon, cheering me on.

In this article, not only did Andy Payne have 66 days to change his life, but he had a strategy that which I would like to emulate. It's not necessary to be in the lead every day by expecting to have great successes every day. I just need to "keep stepping from day to day." Today I didn't make great steps forward, but I am continuing on my course. I will take each day as it comes, and keep working on my goals.

The article ended with the sentence above, except for an epilogue at the end. In the epilogue, it tells that Andy Payne did go on to win the race. I believe it's God's way of assuring me that I will finish, and I will succeed. All I need do is keep stepping.

Day Eighteen Has Voted; 48 Still Undecided

Today Lynnette and I walked 15 miles in preparation for our 3-Day. We started at 5:30 am. God knew we needed a break, so He kept the sun hidden in the clouds until we were finished. We found a new friend at Mile 10, when Nemo the dog joined us. He walked 3 miles with us, then decided we weren't that much fun, and returned to his home.

In another 3-Day activity, I have finished my "sash" for the event. This is a Miss America thing that says "Fifty and Fabulous" on the front. On the back and front I have pink ribbons with names of the people in whose honor I am walking. All it took was some iron-on stuff (thanks Molly!) and needle and thread. One would think I will look quite the diva, but these 3-Day walkers are serious about their outfits!

After our trek, I refueled, took a nap, let the I-Squeeze massage my aching feet, and soaked in the tub. It's been a fairly quiet day. Maribeth called from a mountain somewhere in Maine. It's hard to believe 23 years ago I was about to go into labor with her!!

Today went by quickly. The walk and completing the sash took huge chunks out of the day. I didn't really make any significant strides towards completing the seven. Am I disappointed or discouraged? No, and here's why:

Today I focused on this 60-mile walk I am doing in August. I completed two tasks that I needed to get done - the sash and a long walk. I feel good because I know I am preparing myself so that this experience will be all that I hope it to be.

I didn't make any progress towards the seven remaining goals. But today wasn't about the seven. Today was about the 3-Day. I needed today to focus on this event. Tomorrow I will probably get back to the seven.

It's good to have a day to focus on one thing. But it's important for me not to make any one thing the one and only thing every single day. If I listen to God, He will direct me as to what I can do best on any given day. If I listen, I will feel satisfied in what I do on that day, and not be concerned with what I don't do. I will feel content and not waste a day bemoaning those things that were put on the shelf.

It's good to have a variety of days. There are days when I make great strides in my goals, days I get a lot of tasks completed, days I examine my life as a whole, days I focus on just one thing, and days I just vegetate.

One of my changes I see is my ability to recognize that all days are good and worthwhile. I just have to recognize and appreciate the value of the day for what it is, whether it is a busy day or a lazy day.

I have one of my favorite poems hanging in my bathroom. I think it sums up how I feel about the days I am given. I'll close with it:

This is the beginning of a new day.

God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it---or use it for good,

but what I do today is important,

because I am exchanging a day of my life for it!

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place, something that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, and not loss;
good, and not evil; success, and not failure,
in order that I shall not regret the price I have paid for it.
~Anonymous~

Day Seventeen is Swimming, 49 Waiting to Dive In

Wow. Now I'm down to the 40s in terms of days left. D-Day is exactly seven weeks from today. Technically, that amounts to one remaining goal a week. Wow.

Today I walked exactly eight miles. I went slowly, as to not re-injure the ankle from yesterday. I also went to Curves. With such a productive day yesterday list-wise, I didn't have many tasks to complete today.

I did get my "alternative activity" chart complete and printed off. This is the list of what I've come up with so far: First I will list the trigger, then the alternate activity:

Boredom: take a walk, read, write an email

Pain: take a nap, soak in the tub, take a painkiller, use I-Squeeze

Frustration: write about frustration, take stuff to Goodwill, take a walk

Procrastination: go over "to do" list, leave house

Fatigue: take a nap, get in bed, take a shower

Sadness: write about sadness, watch funny movie, look at photos

Anger: write about anger, jog

Leftovers: scrape food into trash

This is the first draft of many, I hope. I will add to it as more ideas come up, and take away those ideas that don't work. The main thing is to STOP and think about why I am putting something into my mouth, see if the reason is on this chart, then veer off into another direction rather than the pantry or refrigerator.

The rest of today was fairly uneventful. I did get two stories written for my book "Flu." I'm still a long way from completing this goal, but I'm proud that I finally have started. I just have to discipline myself to spend time every day writing.

This evening we had dinner at Demos' with Sam, Lynnette, and Molly. It was good as usual. My meal was nothing to brag about point-wise, but I enjoyed it.

Tonight will be an early night, as Lynnette and I plan to start at 5:30 am for our 15-mile training walk. I can hardly believe that seven weeks from today, we'll be finishing our first 20-mile day!!

Today was a positive day in terms of progress towards my goals. Some of the eight require more mental preparation than physical. The mental is often harder to develop than the physical. But today I took a step forward. Today was a quiet day. Small steps were taken, but I'm headed towards those goals. In seven weeks, I hope to have made them all.

Day Sixteen Has Been Kissed; 50 Still Puckering Up

I have a little black book. Inside there is a page for each day. Each day's page has a list of things to do for that day. I list everything I need to do, from the obvious (jog, workout at Curves), to the urgent (pay bills, go to the bank), to the mundane (empty trash, refill bird feeder). Every task I complete, I mark with a check mark. If I complete a task not on the list, I add it to the list and check it off. The tasks I don't complete go on the list for the next day. The reason I share this is because today I managed to complete 18 out of 20 tasks, which hopefully will make up for the shortcomings in the day.

I intended to get up early and jog. However, my mind and body did not think too highly of this idea. I started out later than usual, but my legs just did not want to cooperate. I decided to walk five miles instead of eight. As I got to the one-mile mark, I got too close to the edge of the road, and turned my ankle. This is not an unusual occurrence, but when it does happen, it curtails my jogging for the day. I walked the mile back home.

I got today's list out, and decided to head for the grocery store, since it is fairly empty at 7:30 in the morning. I also went to the bank and post office. I got back home, put the groceries away, and headed for Curves.

After Curves, I accomplished a few other tasks on the list before lunch. Lunch was not pretty. It started out innocently, with a leftover hamburger. Followed by popcorn. Finished off with a bowl off ice cream. With chocolate sauce. Did I try to talk myself out of this? Not really. Would I have listened had I tried? Probably not. Afterwards, I felt stuffed and promptly fell asleep, only to wake up in a post-gorge haze. Another reason, if I needed one, to get this food thing under control - over indulgence in food makes me sluggish.

Luckily for me, I had five different stores I needed to visit in order to return various items. I forced myself into the car, and took off for the mall. Getting out and about helped; at least I was moving. I got the items returned or exchanged, checked my eight-mile jogging route (I had shorted myself 4/10 of a mile), and returned home to get more things checked off today's list.

I cooked beef tips and mashed potatoes for supper. After Steve and I had finished, there was about one serving left, so guess what - I ate it.

All this eating resulted in my getting out my lap top and completing the "alternative activities to eating" chart. I'm still thinking of other things to do instead of grabbing a bite, should you have any suggestions. So far, I've listed my triggers as: Boredom, Frustration, Sadness, Anger, Pain, Leftovers, and Procrastination. Next to each trigger, I've listed things I will do instead of grabbing a bite. I hope to continue to add to the list as ideas come up.

So, how did today stack up? This morning I did something that I hadn't planned to do until August 24 - I weighed. According to the scales, I need to lose 19 pounds. Today didn't help. But I realize even more how much I need to control the food aspect of my life. Although I really didn't want to know how much I needed to lose to reach my goal, maybe this will encourage me. Now I have a way to gauge my success on a weekly basis.

Today was a sobering day. I feel good about all the things I accomplished, but I am disappointed with my regression in the food management area. I am slowly preparing myself for this battle; I just can't put it off anymore. I wish change would come easily. This food issue is a battle that is going to be tough. But I know when I conquer it, I will have made a significant life change.

Today was a bit disheartening. There may be days ahead when again I will falter. But just as it was with golf a few days ago, I have to keep trying. I know I will get better at managing and controlling the food I eat. It will just take practice and planning. Eventually, I will master my food issues and meet my goal; and in the end, I will be glad I struggled through it.

Day Fifteen Goes Off; 51 Waiting To Be Lit

Happy 4th of July!

I began my morning by deciding it was time to wash the sun room windows. This is a job that has been on my daily list for weeks. After realizing a goal yesterday, I felt compelled to get this task done. I convinced Steve to do the inside while I did the outside. What an industrious start to the day!

I had planned to do a 2-mile jog this morning. I started out, but didn't get far when my body basically told me that this was not a good idea at all. I suppose after two days of pushing it, my body needed a rest. Since it was a holiday, I decided to give myself a break.

The next activity was lunch. Molly has decided to become a vegetarian, so today was going to be her last meal of fish, having already given up beef and chicken. Sam and I accompanied her to Red Lobster where we over-ate. The only thing to do next was go to the mall and have some Dippin Dots. We then took advantage of the sales and each bought two pairs of shoes, since our feet were probably the only body parts that weren't bloated by this point. I also walked into the Talbot's and promptly bought three pairs of pants, all in my "goal size." I was wearing this size a few months ago, so I am hoping this will provide even more incentive. Besides, on sale, the three cost the same as one pair at the regular price, so how could I resist?

In the afternoon, Steve and I headed for the golf course, to play my fifth round of golf. I am halfway to another goal. However, it is definitely time for some driving range practice, as I would have needed a calculator to count all my shots today. After a dinner at Arby's followed by dessert at McDonald's, it was time to return home to vegetate.

Tonight I am thinking about this whole project. It's now been two weeks since I started this. Some goals, such as the sidewalk project and the rounds of golf have been easy to see progress and to achieve. But the weight and clothes size goals are going much slower and are difficult to notice progress, at least the progress I want to see, like slipping into my new pants and having them fall off! Clearly my food issues are still in full force. My story writing seems to get lost in the day. My running goals are moving forward. Where does all this leave me?

I can see progress, but I can also see areas in which I need to work harder. I have been reading daily readings about discipline. I know that discipline is necessary if I am to achieve these goals that I really want, that are important to me. Where do I go from here?

I start by examining my goals:

Golf - playing the rounds of golf is important, because I enjoy it and want to get better at it. However, just playing by itself will not help me get better. I need practice time on the driving range and putting green, and maybe another lesson or two or three hundred.

Weight, clothes size, and food issues - these three go hand in hand. Clearly my food issues are going to circumvent my goals to lose weight and a pants size. I am still continuing to ignore the reasons I eat, justifying sharing two appetizers and adding a dessert at the end of a meal. I still haven't made my alternative activity chart. If I am truly going to attain this goal, I have got to get serious by thinking about what and why I am eating. I also need to push myself when running and exercising to burn those calories.

Running - I am making progress running two miles, and running more on my long runs. But I have to continue to push myself. Today my body was tired, and I gave myself a rest day. But I have to continue to force myself to get out and run, and run a little longer and a little faster.

Writing - I continue to put this task off, thinking I have other things to do, or nothing to write about. Yet I have conscientiously continued to write this blog every night. I am going to have to discipline myself to write stories for my book on a daily basis. Just as this blog has created a habit for me in just two weeks, I believe that if I write on a daily basis for two weeks, a new habit will be born.

So far, I think I've done a good job. But I know there is still much to be done, and I can do better. It will take discipline and clear steps to keep moving forward. But I am encouraged by my beginnings and anticipate my future progress and success.

I have a lot to do and to accomplish. These aren't just goals, but changes I want to make in my life. In turn, I have to change my life if I want to reach these goals. I believe I can do it, and look forward to the journey.

Day Fourteen Dealt; 52 in the Deck

We'll start today with a few pictures:


First task completed - The front sidewalk is done!!


Shaggy, the cat alarm clock, faces his nemesis, the door - "Shall I go out or stay in?"


Shaggy - fearless hunter or avid bird watcher?


Meanwhile, two birdies discuss that idiotic cat in the house.

Hope you enjoy the pictures. The birds are what I view from my favorite room in the house, the sun room. In the mornings, it is absolute bliss to sit out there and listen to the birds wake up and call each other to breakfast. Sometimes I get a special treat and watch as they totally immerse themselves in the birdbath. It is a blessing to watch and enjoy this world that God has created.

Of course, the best picture is the one from the front of the house. Yes, it is true - I have completed my first goal, the sidewalk project. Even though I had the offer of help today, I finished before the helper arrived (so I called Sam and told him to bring lunch instead). It took 80+ bricks, several afternoons, numerous Home Depot trips, a small garden spade, digging and pulling up old bricks, but this goal has been completed. Yay!! Now, just seven more to go.

There has been a let down today. As I was returning from my Starbucks mission this evening, I decided to measure what I thought was my 4-mile route. Apparently, the streets have been shortened, as my car measured only 3.7. This is a sad turn of events, as I have misled myself into false mileage. I shall have to verify this dilemma tomorrow. Stay tuned.

The good news on the jog front is that today I had a running partner. Steve decided to join me. Shaggy began with his usual 4:40 wake up call, but as usual could not muster the courage to venture out. I decided to go ahead and eat breakfast. Steve got up, we got ready, and were out the door at 5:30. The plan was to run to the 1.5 mile spot, where he would return home, and I would keep going on my what-was-yesterday 8 mile route. We ran the first mile, walked a bit, then ran the rest of the way to the turn around spot. I have decided that running at 5:30 is a good deal, if I can get my rear in gear. The sun is still sleeping, so the heat is bearable. We'll see if this will be a pattern.

I spent the rest of today finishing the walk and doing odds and ends. After two days of jogging/walking and toting/placing bricks, I ended the day with a long soak in the tub. Heavenly!

I received two contrasting emails today. The first was from Emily NC (not the Emily of the Puffy Muffin). Emily is a friend from over twenty years ago when our sons were preschoolers and we lived in Florida. We both moved away, and have kept in touch sparingly (mostly on my part) over the years. I reconnected with Emily NC when I emailed to get a donation for my 3-Day walk, not knowing that she was a breast cancer survivor. She has become one of my strongest supporters, getting donations from a ton of people. Even with everything she is going through, she took the time to write an encouraging email.

On the other hand, I also received an email from a former work colleague. This person was not a friend, and in fact was a unkind person. This email was all about herself, and was using email as a way to worm her way back into our lives.

What did I learn from this? A few years ago, I may have overlooked the friend, and continued to let the unfriend be cruel. Today, I immediately thanked Emily, and told the unfriend to not contact me again. Sometimes it is essential to show how much we value that which is truly important, and to cut loose that which is truly harmful. I hope that one of the changes I have made is to see the difference and begin to do both.

Today was about completing a goal, appreciating the blessings in life, and noticing and discarding the harmful things in my life. Once again, in helping me understand the difference between blessings and harmful things, God has helped me see how food can be harmful to me. I have got to get that alternative activity chart completed.

Today I appreciate a husband who slows his running pace so we can run together, a son who is willing to help me on a project, a friend who can pick up after 20+ years as if it were yesterday, birds who delight me with their beauty and antics, and my life, which has more blessings than I could even imagine. I thank God, who has blessed me with it all.

Day Thirteen is Awake, 53 Still Sleeping

Today I stepped up my eight mile route by jogging some of it, including the first mile. I just hope I can move in the morning!! But I must persevere if I am to eventually do 13.1 miles in 2 1/2 hours. I also "Curve-d", played golf this afternoon, and made one more (and hopefully last) trip to Home Depot for twenty more bricks. It looks like a Tylenol night!

I played my fourth round of golf today. I had five good shots, and 500 less than stellar ones. I even considered calling it quits after three holes. But I kept going, mainly because of this blog. I wanted to claim my fourth round, so I continued to swing away, and away, and away. Eventually, a few holes later, my shots improved - a tiny bit.

I have eight goals that I want to achieve in order to make changes in my life. But I am finding that I am changing in other ways. One of these changes is the drive to keep going even when there seems to be no reason to continue. I certainly could have quit golf today, and just ridden around with Steve. But I had a goal to reach. To reach that goal, I decided to stick with the process even if it meant taking 90 shots a hole, watching the balls fly in every direction, and wondering which I could send further - the ball or my golf club. By sticking with golf, I relaxed, and my golf game settled down. Now when I want to quit something, I will try to keep going, and look for a greater goal that will be gained in the activity. Today my golf game was not fabulous, but my completion of a goal progressed. And in the end, I enjoyed playing golf.

Someone mentioned to me today that perhaps my blog didn't reflect real life (he hasn't read it), that maybe it was just about good things. Maybe it is. I could instead keep a list of all the crappy things that happen every day, and write about them, but why waste time on the lousy things? I once tried to concentrate on the bad stuff, and to answer a friend, "It wasn't working for me." Instead, I'm going to choose to focus on the good things. I've discovered that by emphasizing the good, the bad gets diminished in the process. It doesn't go away, or get ignored, but instead it is used for good.

So was there any bad today? You decide. My golfing was abysmal, but I kept going and the outing as a whole turned out pleasant. My legs were aching and I was sweaty after jogging part of eight miles, but my time was much better. My hands are scraped and sore from loading and unloading eighty concrete bricks, but my sidewalk is almost lined and it looks good. Tomorrow I may wake up sore due to a lot of physical exertion, but maybe my weight and sizes are on their way down.

Optimistic or realistic? I prefer realistic because I don't ignore the difficulties of life, I just use them to make my life meaningful. I know I need both the good and the bad in life to make it real. I'm not sure if every bad situation can be used for good, but if I can make it work in the seemingly insignificant situations, then maybe I can cope with the big problems when they arise.

Today everything wasn't great or perfect or wonderful. Today was today with its ups and downs. But at the end of the day, I can look at the day as a whole and see how it all worked together. And in its totality, today was a good day.

Day Twelve Sprouted, 54 Still In The Ground

Ahhh, Sundays. Sundays can truly be the best days of the week, if we would only allow them to be. Today started well, since I chose to sleep in, sort of. Shaggy was in his usual 4:45 am "I want out; wait - no I don't, but I will at 5:15" routine. After he finally did go out, I decided against walking this morning and went back to sleep. It was quite wonderful to wake up at 7:00, get a cup of coffee, go into my sun room, and watch the birds and squirrels eat their breakfasts.

We decided to skip church. There are some Sundays when it's heavenly to just sit and talk when it's quiet and peaceful. Today was such a day, and Steve and I sat in the sun room and enjoyed the morning. Later we joined Molly and Sam for brunch at Jackson's. Afterwards, Steve went to the YMCA pool, and I arranged the twenty bricks I bought yesterday. I returned to Home Depot again to get twenty more. While I was shopping, if started to rain, but stopped long enough for me to load the bricks, get home, and unload them on the sidewalk. Steve had returned from the pool, and we both took a siesta on the couch.

Once the rain had stopped, I went outside and finished placing the bricks, finishing the first part of the project. I think another twenty bricks and this project will be complete!! Now if I could find a use for the 63 old bricks I took up ...

After cleaning up and watching the Diana concert for a bit, Steve and I decided to go play nine holes. In terms of my game, let's just say the first and last holes were okay. The seven holes in between are not worth mentioning. Except to say at least I didn't lose any balls!! Maribeth text-messaged me while I was on the course, saying she will be spending July 4 in Rangely.

We finished the evening with dinner at one of our favorites, Steak N Shake. I ordered the points-acceptable grilled chicken sandwich, but the cook messed up the order and also brought a huge plate of cheese fries (no charge to us). Yes, I ate a bunch, but stopped from wolfing down the whole plate (actually Steve placed it on the other side of the table).

So how did today stack up? I ate reasonably, got some exercise (we walked instead of using a golf cart), and enjoyed time with my family. I made great headway on the sidewalk project. These are the days when I feel at peace because I feel good physically due to exercise and intelligent eating, I feel content emotionally because I know my family are all secure, I feel satisfied mentally because I have accomplished a task or two, and I feel blessed spiritually because I appreciate all that I have been given.

I believe the best Sundays are those in which we can stop our busy lives, rest and relax in a peaceful place, examine and experience our blessings in life, and offer prayers of thanksgiving to God who gives them to us. Today was such a Sunday, and it was good.