Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Day Twenty-One Takes a Drink; 45 Still Underage

Today I've stalled. It's been three weeks since I started this project. I wouldn't go so far as to say I am discouraged. But today I want to fit into smaller clothes. Today I want to run for two miles. Today I want to finish my book. But those things aren't going to happen today.

Today I only walked seven miles, because it started raining. Today I felt hungrier than usual, so I ate a little more. I still ate with some integrity - no candy or chocolate, just turkey wraps (plain) and Trisquits. Today I got half of my to-do list completed. Today I had several things to think about and ruminate over. Today I just didn't feel like I had any momentum.

So if I am to learn something from each day, to recognize the good and the blessings in each day, and to truly appreciate each day, then what can I take from today?

Today I did make some good food choices. I was severely tempted to devour large quantities of edibles to feed my frustration. But I stopped myself in time.

Today I walked seven miles, which is seven more than zero miles. I didn't run; I just walked. But I got the miles in.

Today it seems like I merely maintained. Maybe that's my lesson for today - some days I just need to keep the status quo.

Today it seems as if I just went through the motions. But I know if I keep trying, I will clearly see those goals again, and be encouraged and motivated to push myself. I'm not going to give up, or give in, or give out.

It's like the process I go through when I do Sudoku. I do them in small chunks of time. I'll work a few minutes on one and when I can't figure the puzzle out, I'll put it down. The next time I come back to it, I can find the numbers easily, and what seemed impossible to solve is solved in a matter of minutes.

Maybe that's what today is - it's the session where there seems to be no solution, and the whole process seems a little dispiriting. But I believe that tomorrow I will come back to it, and maybe find another piece. I've just got to keep trying.

2 comments:

Rebekah said...

Luanne, This is the second attempt at leaving a comment--appologies if i am unintentionally repetitive. Thank you for getting me to read your blog. You taught me, inspired me and made me laugh. What could be better? Oh, yeah, you hoped this would help ME help YOU. I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you later today. You're an amazing woman! And now the dogs insist on joining us after hearing your animal stories. Peace, Rebekah

Luanne said...

Rebekah -
What could be better? Knowing that something I wrote connected with another human being. Thank you for being a piece of the puzzle that helps me move forward.