Day Sixteen Has Been Kissed; 50 Still Puckering Up

I have a little black book. Inside there is a page for each day. Each day's page has a list of things to do for that day. I list everything I need to do, from the obvious (jog, workout at Curves), to the urgent (pay bills, go to the bank), to the mundane (empty trash, refill bird feeder). Every task I complete, I mark with a check mark. If I complete a task not on the list, I add it to the list and check it off. The tasks I don't complete go on the list for the next day. The reason I share this is because today I managed to complete 18 out of 20 tasks, which hopefully will make up for the shortcomings in the day.

I intended to get up early and jog. However, my mind and body did not think too highly of this idea. I started out later than usual, but my legs just did not want to cooperate. I decided to walk five miles instead of eight. As I got to the one-mile mark, I got too close to the edge of the road, and turned my ankle. This is not an unusual occurrence, but when it does happen, it curtails my jogging for the day. I walked the mile back home.

I got today's list out, and decided to head for the grocery store, since it is fairly empty at 7:30 in the morning. I also went to the bank and post office. I got back home, put the groceries away, and headed for Curves.

After Curves, I accomplished a few other tasks on the list before lunch. Lunch was not pretty. It started out innocently, with a leftover hamburger. Followed by popcorn. Finished off with a bowl off ice cream. With chocolate sauce. Did I try to talk myself out of this? Not really. Would I have listened had I tried? Probably not. Afterwards, I felt stuffed and promptly fell asleep, only to wake up in a post-gorge haze. Another reason, if I needed one, to get this food thing under control - over indulgence in food makes me sluggish.

Luckily for me, I had five different stores I needed to visit in order to return various items. I forced myself into the car, and took off for the mall. Getting out and about helped; at least I was moving. I got the items returned or exchanged, checked my eight-mile jogging route (I had shorted myself 4/10 of a mile), and returned home to get more things checked off today's list.

I cooked beef tips and mashed potatoes for supper. After Steve and I had finished, there was about one serving left, so guess what - I ate it.

All this eating resulted in my getting out my lap top and completing the "alternative activities to eating" chart. I'm still thinking of other things to do instead of grabbing a bite, should you have any suggestions. So far, I've listed my triggers as: Boredom, Frustration, Sadness, Anger, Pain, Leftovers, and Procrastination. Next to each trigger, I've listed things I will do instead of grabbing a bite. I hope to continue to add to the list as ideas come up.

So, how did today stack up? This morning I did something that I hadn't planned to do until August 24 - I weighed. According to the scales, I need to lose 19 pounds. Today didn't help. But I realize even more how much I need to control the food aspect of my life. Although I really didn't want to know how much I needed to lose to reach my goal, maybe this will encourage me. Now I have a way to gauge my success on a weekly basis.

Today was a sobering day. I feel good about all the things I accomplished, but I am disappointed with my regression in the food management area. I am slowly preparing myself for this battle; I just can't put it off anymore. I wish change would come easily. This food issue is a battle that is going to be tough. But I know when I conquer it, I will have made a significant life change.

Today was a bit disheartening. There may be days ahead when again I will falter. But just as it was with golf a few days ago, I have to keep trying. I know I will get better at managing and controlling the food I eat. It will just take practice and planning. Eventually, I will master my food issues and meet my goal; and in the end, I will be glad I struggled through it.