Saturday, June 30, 2007

Day Eleven is Cooked, 55 Still Being Prepared

After being so productive yesterday, and with today being Saturday, one would think I deserve a day off! But if I really want to change my life, I need to keep my goals in focus every day.

I walked early this morning, thanks to the Shaggy the Cat alarm. My intent was to walk 14 miles; my actual mileage was 8. I justified the mileage by telling myself that tomorrow, July 1, I am going to have to step up my pace. Unfortunately, today was a day I justified a lot to myself.

I had lunch with Emily at the Puffy Muffin. I had the chicken salad, which was yummy. It was good to be with Emily again. She makes me laugh, and her roommate, Ginger, was super friendly, making sure my hands were clean by licking them. I thanked Ginger by scratching her belly.

My downfall came back at home after lunch. Despite having an excellent idea for dealing with my food issues, I completely ignored it. I was getting sleepy from the early morning, so rather than take a nap, I thought I would have a few Triscuits. Did I really want them? No. Did I eat them? Yes. A Lot of them? Yes. I was reading at the time, with the open box at my disposal. I told myself it was a healthy snack.

This would be a sad story already, but it gets worse. I finally decided to close the box, when evil chocolate started calling to me. I checked the candy box, found a snack size bag of Hershey Kisses, grabbed a spoonful of peanut butter, and ate them all. I couldn't even justify this, which made me very sad, so I had an orange sherbet push-up. I'm not sure what made me more angry - the stuff I ate or the fact that I had a plan and completely disregarded it. Needless to say, the sugar rush promptly put me to sleep.

When I woke up, I was still miffed at myself, and resolved to make out my list of alternative activities to do instead of grabbing a snack. As of this writing, I have a list of the reasons I reach for food. Now all I have to do is make lists of alternative activities.

I did put in place the twenty bricks from yesterday and went to Home Depot and got twenty more bricks. I would have placed them, except now I have the dilemma of deciding what to do with the old bricks I removed from the sidewalk. I have an offer of help on Tuesday, so I'm hoping to have my first goal completed by Wednesday.

The only other let-down to my day was Starbucks, which apparently is out to thwart my plans. Yesterday Molly ordered a Orange Mocha Frappachino Light for me, and today Steve ordered the same, yet they were both given an Orange Frap Regular. Since they were both brought to me, there was no returning for a replacement. Did I drink them anyhow? Yes. Do I still have food issues? Yes. Clearly I have a goal that needs serious work!

So, what kind of day was today? Today was a day about friends and food. Sometimes they go together.

Emily is an old friend. I enjoy her company again, after losing contact for a few years. Emily is a kind, funny friend who is fun to be with. She also once called me her "adventuresome" friend, which makes me happy.

Kat is a new friend who responded to my blog yesterday. I really don't know her at all; but I told her that cyberspace has made my world larger and smaller at the same time. Smaller for bringing people into my existence from all over the world and larger because those very people expand my knowledge, my thoughts and my horizons. It's a real blessing to be able to meet and get to know people through this medium.

Food is not my friend. I clearly have to establish some boundaries. I realize I can no longer ignore this issue because of the physical and emotional effects it has on me.

Today was about friendship - who is a friend and what isn't. I realize I should reach out to real things when I am bored or sad or mad or glad. Friends don't make you feel guilty after being with them. Friends not only make you feel better, they make your life better.

It's amazing how I learn about something through a totally unrelated incident. Today I spent time with friends, and through them I progressed in my goal to conquer my food issues. God always has a remarkable way of teaching me - all I need to do is listen.

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