Well, it's here. The last day(s) of this endeavor. It's not what I thought it would be - it's different and, I think, better.
I'll start with the goals:
1. Sidewalk project - completed. It took a little extra time and I am happy with the result. It gave me another dose of confidence and drive to do big physical home projects. Sometimes I am prone to want to do things, but continue to put them off. Now when I find myself saying "I should" then I can look out my front door for inspiration and say "I will now."
2. Play 10 rounds of golf - completed. It came down to the wire, but I did it. Playing this many times bolstered my confidence in my game, and my conviction that I enjoy playing. By continuing to play in spite of my beginning skills, I improved a smidgen. I also am even more committed to trying to improve through practice and playing. It helped me become a more determined beginner.
3. Run 2 miles without stopping. I did it. I can actually jog, which was totally a revelation for me. It caused me to accept my athletic possibilities, and realize that I can push myself. It helped me realize that I don't have to settle for only what I think I can do - I can do what I couldn't have imagined doing, if I just keep working at it.
4. Complete a 30-story book. Technically I have finished it. Currently the book is in very rough form, and not complete, as I decided to have 40 stories in it instead of 30. I have wanted to do this for several years - this project caused me to truly commit to the book. I relish the comfort and satisfaction I have from writing. I also accept that the idea of doing something with my finished work is daunting. Guess we'll have to see where this leads me. I am a writer - now I just have to imagine I will have a reader!
5. Find new avenues instead of eating. I believe I'm on the road on this one. I created a chart that listed alternative activities, but I prefer to ignore the chart (even though it's in the center of my refrigerator). But I am aware of my tendencies, and have become aware of my thoughts when I reach for something to stuff in my mouth. Was this goal achieved? That's hard to say, because this was more of an abstract goal, and difficult to find an objective determination. I will say that this goal will be ongoing forever - but it did change my life as I look at how I eat with different perspectives than I did before.
6. Wear size ##. Yes and No. Depends on the label and manufacturer. Some things fit better, some things are still snug. Some things I slip on in my desired size, others in a size larger make me look like a stuffed pig. I know I will be more satisfied when I can wear smaller clothes. The change I see is the realization that I've got to work toward it if I really want to achieve it. This goal wasn't as imperative as the others, so it sat on the side. Am I disappointed? Not so much - it will happen.
7. Lose 19 pounds. Did not happen. Lost a few pounds, but not nearly what I wanted to. Am I disappointed? Again, not so much. It will happen when I really choose to focus on it. It just didn't happen now. But it will.
8. Run a half-marathon in 2:30. It didn't happen for all the right reasons. I learned my limitations as well as my possibilities. I know I am capable and what I need to do.
So, what's my final evaluation of this project? I'm proud of what I did. It didn't turn out as I expected. I thought by achieving these eight goals, the actual culmination of the goal would be the change in me. Instead, I realize the changes came about because of the work towards the goals. The actual goals were like the medals I receive at the end of a race - just a tangible reminder of what I've accomplished. I'm changed for having experienced these sixty-six days, and I received far more than I could have ever hoped.
So, what's next? The next time I post, I will be 50 years old. Wow. These sixty-six days will be history, but I will continue to be making and writing my new history. Starting on Monday, you can find me at http://luanneatfifty.blogspot.com/.
Thanks for reading - best wishes for your life, whatever it holds for you. I hope your path to your goals was as meaningful as mine.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Day Sixty-Four Stops to Think; 2 Stop to Listen
I can hardly believe it's almost here - the end of this project AND my fiftieth birthday. It has certainly been a ride. As I near the end of this sixty-six day experiment, I have learned a lot. Here are a few things I can tell you tonight:
1. I've learned that I'm an optimist at heart. I've been masquerading as a pessimist in a misguided attempt to cope with life. But I've learned that I am much happier if I emphasize the positive in my life rather than focus solely on the negative.
2. I've learned that I sometimes let too much of life pass by, waiting for something else to happen, or writing off days if things seem awry. These sixty-six days have taught me to stop and focus on each day, especially the good things in each day.
3. I realize that setting goals for a specific time period has a tendency to drive me to action, but also to stress me out. It's a tightrope for me - when faced with a target date, I am compelled "to do" but also tend to obsess. My answer is to set goals but not always a deadline, work steadily, and document my progress (or else I will put the goal off and pretend I am going to do it in "tomorrow fantasy land").
4. I recognize the difference in my goals - these eight varied from a specific task (sidewalk) to the abstract (find new avenues instead of eating recklessly). The goals varied from things that probably could be done in sixty-six days (play ten rounds of golf), to others that realistically should take longer (run a half marathon in 2:30). I learned that I have to really look at each goal, and set parameters that will suit a particular goal both in time and in achievement.
5. I accept that I may not meet a goal in the way I think I should. But through that goal, I may achieve other goals that are more meaningful. While I wanted to run a half marathon in record time, I wouldn't have learned as much about myself had that happened. I thought that each goal was an end unto itself; what I found is that each goal was a door to a whole lot of self-awareness.
6. I believe that my goals are not the sole essence of who I am. I am still working on believing that my goals are not me to those around me. I announced my goals and intentions to anyone who would listen, then worried what those people would think if I didn't make these goals. I still struggle with that, wondering if they are disappointed in me. But it's okay, because it helps me feel human and not some machine that has to keep achieving to be meaningful.
7. By focusing on these goals, I have learned their importance to me, as well as their fears. Maybe it has taken me a while to finish my book because I'm a little afraid of what I will do once I feel it is finished. Maybe losing weight wasn't as important as playing golf. I realize that there is more to my goals than just the end result - there are other elements at play in each one. By really looking at any goal I set, I can understand more about how to reach it, and more about me.
So that's what I've thought about tonight. I still have two more days, but tomorrow will be my last post for this blog, because I will be leaving for the Twin Cities 3-Day. Tomorrow I will share my final thoughts on the eight and where this blog will go next.
It's been a good sixty-four days. I started out wanting to make changes in my life, and I have done that. I just had no idea what those changes would really mean.
1. I've learned that I'm an optimist at heart. I've been masquerading as a pessimist in a misguided attempt to cope with life. But I've learned that I am much happier if I emphasize the positive in my life rather than focus solely on the negative.
2. I've learned that I sometimes let too much of life pass by, waiting for something else to happen, or writing off days if things seem awry. These sixty-six days have taught me to stop and focus on each day, especially the good things in each day.
3. I realize that setting goals for a specific time period has a tendency to drive me to action, but also to stress me out. It's a tightrope for me - when faced with a target date, I am compelled "to do" but also tend to obsess. My answer is to set goals but not always a deadline, work steadily, and document my progress (or else I will put the goal off and pretend I am going to do it in "tomorrow fantasy land").
4. I recognize the difference in my goals - these eight varied from a specific task (sidewalk) to the abstract (find new avenues instead of eating recklessly). The goals varied from things that probably could be done in sixty-six days (play ten rounds of golf), to others that realistically should take longer (run a half marathon in 2:30). I learned that I have to really look at each goal, and set parameters that will suit a particular goal both in time and in achievement.
5. I accept that I may not meet a goal in the way I think I should. But through that goal, I may achieve other goals that are more meaningful. While I wanted to run a half marathon in record time, I wouldn't have learned as much about myself had that happened. I thought that each goal was an end unto itself; what I found is that each goal was a door to a whole lot of self-awareness.
6. I believe that my goals are not the sole essence of who I am. I am still working on believing that my goals are not me to those around me. I announced my goals and intentions to anyone who would listen, then worried what those people would think if I didn't make these goals. I still struggle with that, wondering if they are disappointed in me. But it's okay, because it helps me feel human and not some machine that has to keep achieving to be meaningful.
7. By focusing on these goals, I have learned their importance to me, as well as their fears. Maybe it has taken me a while to finish my book because I'm a little afraid of what I will do once I feel it is finished. Maybe losing weight wasn't as important as playing golf. I realize that there is more to my goals than just the end result - there are other elements at play in each one. By really looking at any goal I set, I can understand more about how to reach it, and more about me.
So that's what I've thought about tonight. I still have two more days, but tomorrow will be my last post for this blog, because I will be leaving for the Twin Cities 3-Day. Tomorrow I will share my final thoughts on the eight and where this blog will go next.
It's been a good sixty-four days. I started out wanting to make changes in my life, and I have done that. I just had no idea what those changes would really mean.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Day Sixty-Three Is Good in Many Ways; 3 Waiting for Their Claim to Good
Today I went to the tire place to get my new tire, only to be told they could fix the tire - no charge. Later I apparently drove through some paint on the road, which splashed up on my car but I didn't realize until hours later. Fortunately it was some sort of latex paint, which pretty much washed off with no harm to the car. Guess today was a good car day.
Later in the day I spent some time on the computer, and ended up with three more stories - only three more to go. Guess today was a good writing day.
I found a straw to fit the hole I drilled in my water bottle for the 3-day. I also got the oatmeal raisin cookies that Lynnette and I eat on our training walks. Later Lynnette and I talked 3-day packing tips. Guess today was a good 3-day prep day.
With only three days left, there's a lot to think about. But for now, I think I'll just close and go to bed - that's the best way to end a good day.
Later in the day I spent some time on the computer, and ended up with three more stories - only three more to go. Guess today was a good writing day.
I found a straw to fit the hole I drilled in my water bottle for the 3-day. I also got the oatmeal raisin cookies that Lynnette and I eat on our training walks. Later Lynnette and I talked 3-day packing tips. Guess today was a good 3-day prep day.
With only three days left, there's a lot to think about. But for now, I think I'll just close and go to bed - that's the best way to end a good day.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Day Sixty-Two Celebrates an Anniversary; 4 Waiting to Celebrate A Birthday
Today was not my day of choice. Why? Because I spent most of the day running around attempting to accomplish two major projects. It was basically an administrative day.
I spent most of the day on the phone with Sprint/Nextel attempting to convince them that they were billing MB for a phone she disconnected two months ago. I ended up talking with four different employees who continued to send me to the next individual, disconnecting me in the process. When I would call back, I would hold for at least thirty minutes listening to music, then tell my phone story again to the new person (who may or may not be familiar with the English language). The good news is that the phone story has come to an end and MB has been freed from her phone bondage.
Today was also an automotive repair day. I went to the Firestone place, then the dealership, then back to the Firestone place. My tire with the screw in it (and only 5000 miles on it) cannot be repaired, and must be replaced. But the tire has to be brought in from another store, so this saga will carry on until tomorrow.
I did get other tasks completed, including procuring a safe deposit box, finishing my 3-Day sash and extra t-shirt, arranging and rearranging hotels for the night before and after the 3-Day, and other various errands. I did not Curve or walk, and consumed entirely too many salt and vinegar potato chips at Molly's.
Steve and I did play my 10th (and final for this project) round of golf. I played better than yesterday, actually hitting a few good shots. It was a good afternoon, especially since the weather was decent. One more goal accomplished.
Today was busy at times, frustrating at times, tiring at times, productive at times, encouraging at times, discouraging at times, and rewarding at times. Just another ordinary day.
August 20 is our anniversary. Steve and I have been married 30 years. Just like today, the past 30 years have been busy, frustrating, tiring, productive, encouraging, discouraging, and rewarding. Through it all, God has blessed me.
I am thankful to know whether it is 30 years, or 66 days, or just 24 hours, God is right beside me.
I spent most of the day on the phone with Sprint/Nextel attempting to convince them that they were billing MB for a phone she disconnected two months ago. I ended up talking with four different employees who continued to send me to the next individual, disconnecting me in the process. When I would call back, I would hold for at least thirty minutes listening to music, then tell my phone story again to the new person (who may or may not be familiar with the English language). The good news is that the phone story has come to an end and MB has been freed from her phone bondage.
Today was also an automotive repair day. I went to the Firestone place, then the dealership, then back to the Firestone place. My tire with the screw in it (and only 5000 miles on it) cannot be repaired, and must be replaced. But the tire has to be brought in from another store, so this saga will carry on until tomorrow.
I did get other tasks completed, including procuring a safe deposit box, finishing my 3-Day sash and extra t-shirt, arranging and rearranging hotels for the night before and after the 3-Day, and other various errands. I did not Curve or walk, and consumed entirely too many salt and vinegar potato chips at Molly's.
Steve and I did play my 10th (and final for this project) round of golf. I played better than yesterday, actually hitting a few good shots. It was a good afternoon, especially since the weather was decent. One more goal accomplished.
Today was busy at times, frustrating at times, tiring at times, productive at times, encouraging at times, discouraging at times, and rewarding at times. Just another ordinary day.
August 20 is our anniversary. Steve and I have been married 30 years. Just like today, the past 30 years have been busy, frustrating, tiring, productive, encouraging, discouraging, and rewarding. Through it all, God has blessed me.
I am thankful to know whether it is 30 years, or 66 days, or just 24 hours, God is right beside me.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Day Sixty-One Uses a Calculator; 5 Count on One Hand
Why did Day Sixty-One use a calculator? To count the number of golf swings I made today. Yes, I played a round of golf today, more or less. Steve and I started on one part of the golf course, but found it too busy, so we went back to the clubhouse and started on the other side. I wish that I could say the change in courses affected my golf game, but it didn't. It was abysmal on one side, and transferred to the other. The good news is (a) I lost 3 balls, but found 7, (b) I hit the ball over the grown-over ditch hazard (a first), and (c) I played my ninth round!
Otherwise today was fairly quiet. I got up, went to church, went shopping for some bug spray for the 3-day, bought some material for Maribeth's quilt, and wrote two more stories. Progress continues to happen on these remaining days of the sixty-six.
Otherwise today was fairly quiet. I got up, went to church, went shopping for some bug spray for the 3-day, bought some material for Maribeth's quilt, and wrote two more stories. Progress continues to happen on these remaining days of the sixty-six.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Day Sixty Waiting for Completion; 6 Hurrying to Join Their Mates
Today Lynnette and I completed our final long training walk - our last 10 miles before the 3-Day. The weather was not unbearably hot, and a breeze blew through every now and then. We believe God gave us the good weather because our attitudes were a bit on the sour side. In other words, we are glad to be done, and are looking forward to our experience next weekend.
After the walk, we joined Sam, Molly, Scout, and Jenny for lunch. Molly is watching all 10 seasons of Friends in a week (part of a bet). I guess that's what 21-year-olds do. Meanwhile, Maribeth is still walking the AT, now with a ferret in tow. I guess that's what 23-year-olds do. I'm thinking being a 50-year-old is looking pretty good.
I spent tonight working on my book. As of this post, I have titles for all the remaining stories - I just have to finish them. I have six days to write, but having the titles (and accompanying ideas) is a huge step forward.
I did eat a bit today. I'm not extremely proud of that, but I'll keep working on it. Fatigue was my excuse today - so I've got to come up with a plan for coping. Hmm - maybe a nap instead of a cupcake?
I'm hoping for decent weather tomorrow so I can get in a round of golf. With only two rounds left, I may have to suck it up and play in the oven I call outside.
The days are slipping by, but I'm still working. That's what 50-year-olds do.
After the walk, we joined Sam, Molly, Scout, and Jenny for lunch. Molly is watching all 10 seasons of Friends in a week (part of a bet). I guess that's what 21-year-olds do. Meanwhile, Maribeth is still walking the AT, now with a ferret in tow. I guess that's what 23-year-olds do. I'm thinking being a 50-year-old is looking pretty good.
I spent tonight working on my book. As of this post, I have titles for all the remaining stories - I just have to finish them. I have six days to write, but having the titles (and accompanying ideas) is a huge step forward.
I did eat a bit today. I'm not extremely proud of that, but I'll keep working on it. Fatigue was my excuse today - so I've got to come up with a plan for coping. Hmm - maybe a nap instead of a cupcake?
I'm hoping for decent weather tomorrow so I can get in a round of golf. With only two rounds left, I may have to suck it up and play in the oven I call outside.
The days are slipping by, but I'm still working. That's what 50-year-olds do.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Day Fifty-Nine Endures the Heat; 7 Waiting for Cooler Weather
Today's plan was to do nothing but write. My first order of business was to further refine my 3-Day visor by sewing on parts of a hat Marilyn sent me:
Once my sewing project was complete, I started writing. I took a short break to run errands and to attend the Cool People Care anniversary party. Today was successful - as of this posting, I have 22 stories written.
On another front, most of today I fantasized about a Big Mac and/or a Quarter Pounder meal, complete with fries. However, I managed to resist. How? By thinking logically and clearly, and not rushing out to purchase the above mentioned food. I forced myself to stop and breathe, knowing those burgers were not in my best interest. I refused to rationalize such a food choice and I didn't go into denial about the whole situation and make a McDonald's run. I did good.
Now it is late, and I must get to bed. The good news is that Lynnette and I have to walk only 10 miles tomorrow, so we get to sleep in until 6:30. One week from today, we will have finished our first 20-mile day. It's hard to believe that I have only seven days left. I am making progress - we'll just see where I end up.
I think it turned out pretty cool. I am sure to be the hit of the walk on August 24!
On another front, most of today I fantasized about a Big Mac and/or a Quarter Pounder meal, complete with fries. However, I managed to resist. How? By thinking logically and clearly, and not rushing out to purchase the above mentioned food. I forced myself to stop and breathe, knowing those burgers were not in my best interest. I refused to rationalize such a food choice and I didn't go into denial about the whole situation and make a McDonald's run. I did good.
Now it is late, and I must get to bed. The good news is that Lynnette and I have to walk only 10 miles tomorrow, so we get to sleep in until 6:30. One week from today, we will have finished our first 20-mile day. It's hard to believe that I have only seven days left. I am making progress - we'll just see where I end up.
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